Guest Post from Down Under by Jessie

This is a guest post by my friend, Jessie. She is, among many things, smart, thoughtful, gorgeous and she always remembers my birthday--even from all the way in Australia, which is why I've chosen a picture of an Australian water lily for her post.

My name is Jessie, I'm 26 and I've just started my graduate job. I started thinking about being vegetarian when I saw a documentary on pig-farming when I was in my teens. It had a profound effect on me and I found it difficult to justify eating meat after that. Soon after that I made the transition into not eating meat over a period of 3 years. I started out at 15 by cutting out pork products. It was easy for me to do this. I didn't miss ham or bacon at all. Then at 18 I decided I didn't want to be a part of the meat production cycle at all. Again it was pretty easy. I have however, always eaten crustaceans, although I stopped eating large fish, like tuna, a few years ago. I don't really buy into the politics of vegetarianism. I acknowledge that seafood is flesh and experiences pain when it is killed. If people have a problem with me calling myself vegetarian I don't mind. I'm not particularly attached to the label, and as long as people know that I don't eat meat when they're serving me food I am a happy camper.

I love vegetables and do enjoy cooking alone, and for myself. When I eat with my parents I usually cook for us. They're very flexible and relaxed about eating meals with no meat. Luckily my live-in partner has recently “converted” to not eating meat (but still eating seafood including big fish). I don't really know why he's done it or if my diet has had any effect on his decision to do that. I think he has done it for environmental reasons, such as the carbon dioxide and methane produced in meat farming. Having a partner with similar dietary requirements as your own is really convenient and I don't feel like so much of a weirdo now at friends' parties and at restaurants. I doubt his conversion will be long-term, but he might surprise me. He told me he still occasionally hankers for steak and sometimes sausages.

In terms of my diet, I try and eat tofu when it's on the menu at restaurants. At home I like to use firm tofu in Vietnamese cold rolls, salads and stir fries. I think tofu is good for you, as it contains lots of vegetable protein. As a typical vegetarian, I am quite fond of pasta. It's easy to cook and many non-vegetarians don't have a problem with eating vegetarian pasta. Ever since we started going out my partner has been very sensitive to me being vego. He always cooks vegetarian meals for me and we eat together. However, when his son is staying with us (2-3 nights per week) he cooks meat or fish for his son. This doesn't impact on me at all. I do sometimes wonder what my own child would eat, and if he/she would be raised vegetarian.

Even when my partner did eat meat it didn't impact on my life. If he was eating a sausage and salad for dinner, I could always eat a vegie sausage or chickpea burger and salad. I think he was OK with eating mostly vegetarian. He's pretty happy-go-lucky when it comes to food and will always eat what's put in front of him.

My best friend is also vegetarian so I feel I am pretty lucky in terms of being accepted as a vegetarian. Being vegetarian is normal in my day-to-day life. Even in my immediate work place I am not alone in my dietary choices. Three of the 5 people in my team are vegetarian. I still field a lot of questions about my diet but it's a nice feeling when you're not alone :)

If you would like to share your story or tips on how you navigate being a vegan, vegetarian, or ominvore who navigates "interdietary" relationships, please leave a comment or send an e-mail to mutualmenu@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you and possibly share your story. Thank you!

Mutual Menu is giving away one copy of Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero. To enter to win and for more details, please leave one comment here.

Guest Post: Will Death Do Us Part? by Sky Chari

This is a guest post by frequent Mutual Menu commentator and my longtime friend, Sky Chari.

It's a question posed by many who have fancied themselves philosophers over the years: are married couples really parted by death or do our souls live on together for all eternity (assuming you actually liked each other here on Earth to begin with)? When it comes to my husband and I, however, the death in question is neither his nor mine but dinner's. It’s not like I didn't know he ate meat when we started dating, or even when I married him. It’s not like he didn't know that I was a card-carrying PETA member and vegan advocate. So, how the hell does this work? To be honest, I don't even know some days. It definitely helps that we keep a vegetarian home. I just couldn't stomach having meat around. That being said, I do let in the occasional pizza or Doritos (he's not exactly into health food). When I come home from volunteering at a sanctuary for abused and neglected farm animals, Animal Place, disgusted with how people could be so reckless with themselves, the planet, and the animals, well, I let him know in the gentlest way possible exactly how I feel. He's heard my speech; he's even seen Earthlings, for goodness sake. His response? It's just not his thing.Yeah, I could kill him. I mean, I don't get how people could have all the information and still make the decision to eat meat.

In my particular case, I couldn't stomach the idea of killing animals for food from an early age, and started my journey toward veganism at age 11. Ironically, when my husband was the same age, he had never even touched meat. Raised in a traditional Hindu home, he was actually brought up as a vegetarian! However, by junior high, he'd had too many birthday parties at McDonald's to resist the temptation, and once Pandora's box was opened, it was impossible for him to close.

Don't get me wrong, my husband is a caring, kind, and insanely intelligent person. But he also happens to be a creature of habit and proximity. The reason it's easy to keep a veggie house is the same reason I can't keep a veggie husband--he'll eat whatever is in arm's length. The less he has to think about his food, the better. Granted, he's got a lot of other stuff to think about, running a company and all, but this is something about him I will never understand. I care about every single scrap that enters my mouth. I want to know where my food is from and all the ingredients that are in it so I can best judge what its effect on my person will be. He thinks I'm nuts.

So, have we just agreed to disagree and moved on? Actually, no. I still prefer that he become vegan, and he still knows it. I learned a long time ago, however, that nagging will get me nowhere. I have given him the space to make this decision for himself, all the while keeping him well informed and letting him know that I want him to live a long life with me. After all, nothing will make you live longer than letting other beings live long as well. It hasn't been easy or instantaneous by any means, but this tactic is working. He has long stretches of vegetarianism, and for now that is good enough for me. We are not unlike most couples in that we have our differences and issues. But being able to negotiate this emotionally charged subject has actually helped us through a number of other rough patches. At the end of the day, it is everything else about him that keeps me with him and thrilled to be so. This one blip on our radar is pretty major, but it is only one blip after all, and we manage it—some days better than others. Should kids ever come into the picture (not on the radar at all right now), all hell could break loose. Until then, he's my more-vegetarian-than-not husband, and I love him...to death.

Sky Chari is a flutist and teacher in San Francisco, CA, USA. When she's not dragging her husband to one of the town's great vegan restaurants, you can find her curled up on her couch watching the fog roll in (or, more preferably, out).

If you would like to share your story or tips on how you navigate being a vegan, vegetarian, or ominvore who navigates "interdietary" relationships, please leave a comment or send an e-mail to mutualmenu@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you and possibly share your story. Thank you!