Woodstock Trip, Part 1: Storm King Art Center

Last Friday, before Brian and I headed up to Woodstock, NY, we made a stop at Storm King Art Center. For years, Brian has wanted to visit Andy Goldsworthy’s Storm King Wall.


Although weather reports called for rain, it ended up being a gorgeously sunny day, with birds chirping and green mountains rolling on beside us. After checking out some of the sculptures and sitting on a bench made of nickels, Brian and I headed onto the art center’s tram and headed for the Wall.

We got off at Roy Lichtenstein’s Mermaid. We watched some turtles ducking in and out of the pond surrounding the sculpture.

Soon after that, he pulled a wrapped square box out of his pocket. The night before, he also surprised me with tickets to see Spring Awakening. It’s funny, although there was no holiday, anniversary, or other special occasion, I also gave him some gifts the night before: a printout promising to take him to Mama’s Vegetarian, site of our first date; a pin set from Herbivore that reads, “I’m vegan and I love you;” a bamboo cutlery set; and a card congratulating him on kicking ass during a very challenging term at school. I also told him I was ready to quit my job and move to Philly without other employment lined-up because the job search I’d been conducting while working full-time was not working and my shitty feelings about it were putting a serious strain on our relationship. We just need to be together. No more trains on the weekend and talking on the phone on weeknights even though we’re dead tired.

I opened the box Brian gave me to find a heart-shaped peridot charm on a silver chain. Simple and green-colored, my two favorite things. As I took the necklace out of the box, Brian got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.

My initial reaction was disbelief. Not because I didn’t think I’d marry Brian. Who else would I ever want to spend my life with? And not because we hadn’t talked about this (he told me before our second date over two years ago that he wanted to marry me). But because I couldn’t actually believe I was being proposed to. Because a big part of me from long ago still finds it hard to believe someone could love me this much. After reassuring me that his proposal was indeed sincere, I just started crying. After a minute or so of just holding onto one another, Brian—still on one knee—asked, “So, is that a yes?” And I said yes.

Then he pulled out another small wrapped box and inside was a pair of peridot earrings. I don’t wear a lot of jewelry and never wear rings so Brian said he wasn’t sure what kind and size of ring to get me. But I didn’t care. He could have wrapped a blade of grass around my finger and I would have been just as ecstatic and surprised.

So, we’re getting married! And I’m quitting my job and moving in with Brian. I am really happy and a little scared but everything is less scary with Brian around.

Just in case you’re curious:

-- We don’t yet know when or where we’re getting married. We’d like to try living in the same state for a while before breaking out the wedding planner (although I did just purchase my first issue of Brides. Holy super ad pages!). I also really need to focus on finding another job so I should not indulge my bridal fantasies too much right now.

-- I don’t know what dress I’m going to wear. So far, I’m leaning towards a slinky, Grecian gown or a tea-length dress.

-- I think we will be one of the few people who say, “We want a small wedding,” who actually end up having a small wedding.

-- I’m not changing my last name and neither will Brian. And we won’t do a hybrid of names either (Kantorlacios? Ewww.). And I don’t like the idea of hyphenating any future children’s names (I was given a hyphenated name by my parents and it’s a pain in the ass).

-- Yes, the food will be vegan but don’t be scared if you end up coming to the wedding and aren’t vegan. I will take care of you. You will eat so well. Food is my top priority in life and in this wedding. You’ve eaten my cookies and muffins, right? They were good, right? Okay, don’t worry. Nothing weird—just simple, delicious, and amazing food.

-- Finally, at the wedding, I would like to acknowledge that if you’re not a heterosexual couple, you can’t get married and I do have mixed feelings about my choosing to get married in light of this. I like Jessica Valenti’s idea for her own upcoming wedding. I’d also like to acknowledge here that the idea of marriage is super-loaded, both socially and personally (Brian and I are children of divorce, after all). I’m incredibly happy, excited, and giddy but this is one of the most grown-up decisions I’ve ever had to make so I’d be remiss in not mentioning The Dark Side of Things. Why are online vegans so damn serious? Offline, I am usually so silly.

Heading Up to Woodstock

Tomorrow, Brian and I are driving up to the Woodstock, NY-area for a long weekend getaway. The trip was spurred on so we could attend Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary's June Jamboree. The event includes food by vegan cookbook author, Isa Chandra Moskowitz (I am in love with Vegan Brunch) and raw gelato and ice cream by Organic Nectars. There also will be kid-friendly activities like face-painting and a moon bounce, live music, and, of course, farm tours to meet the rescued animals.

The last time Brian and I were up this way was when we went to Saugerties, NY to visit Catskill Animal Sanctuary (CAS) two years ago. I'm hoping we can visit CAS again, too, because Brian donated money for a memorial tile in Luckie's name at the farm and I'd love to see it in-person. We also plan on visiting Storm King Art Center, hiking, going on a scenic train ride, eating good food, and getting lots of sleep in our cozy cottage (no HoJo's this time). We'll see if we can pack it all in. I know Brian and I would both like this weekend to be about not packing anything but our bags. He has just completed a very challenging term at school and we've both been stressed out lately, so we need to rest.

Throughout the weekend, I'll post pictures of the animals and other happenings on my Twitpic page. I can't wait to go!

* Jamboree image courtesy of Woodstock Farm Animal Sanctuary

Sunday Brunch at MiLah Vegetarian Restaurant

For Valentine’s Day this year, Brian treated me to a delicious brunch at MiLah Vegetarian Restaurant, a new-ish place in Philly that I’ve wanted to visit since at least around Christmastime 2008. My interest was reinvigorated after a fellow attendee at one of Christina Pirello’s boisterous vegan cooking demonstrations at Essene said I just had to try MiLah's Sunday brunch. She said something about scones and that’s all I needed to hear.

I’ve long bemoaned Philly’s lack of vegan brunch stops. Sure, there are plenty of places that will scare up some tofu scramble for you but a carb lover cannot subsist on this dish alone. Where’s the French toast, the waffles, the banana chocolate chip pancakes, the scones, the muffins? Okay, Memphis Taproom has a pumpkin-stuffed French toast that I have yet to try but that’s it.

MiLah has finally got us covered. Whether your craving errs on the hot and salty side or if you just want some sweet baked treats, Mi Lah's got it. And they give you plenty of it. Mi Lah’s prix fixe Sunday brunch includes a plate of fresh fruit, scones, muffin, and cake slices and that alone is worth the price of admission ($20). Brian and I knew we could fill up on just that plate so we behaved in an uncharacteristically moderate way by saving half for later.


In addition to your plate of fruit and baked goods, brunch comes with a pitcher of virgin Bloody Mary or an orange, grapefruit, and ginger Mimosa mix. MiLah is BYOB so tote along some booze if you please. You also get coffee or tea. I selected a hot pink grapefruit tea.

Then, if that isn’t enough for you, you get to pick an entrée. Like Tofu Benedict or chocolate banana pancakes. Or beer battered seitan with waffles. Or sausage and biscuits with gravy. Or a lot more where those all came from.

Brian selected the Lumberjack Special, which included two pancakes, tempeh bacon, red and sweet potato homefries, and tofu scramble.

I ordered up something I’ve never had as a vegan or otherwise—the Tofu Benedict. I so often regret my dining choices when Brian and I eat out. He always seems to pick the more enjoyable dish but this time I picked a winner. The Hollandaise sauce was silky, mustardy, and entirely lickable. Rather than vegan Canadian bacon (MiLah eschews so-called faux meats for the most whole, least-processed selections), my Benedict was topped with oven-roasted Roma tomatoes and avocado and it was perfect. I loved their salty and herby mixed potato hash. My entire entree was so amazing, even though I was more than full about halfway through, I had to eat it all.

MiLah’s upstairs dining area is sunny and bright, the music selection perfectly nondescript and atmospheric for better Sunday lazing, and the staff friendly and efficient. I can’t wait to go back and try their lunch and dinner menus. Go early and expect to a bit wait. The place was hot and poppin the entire time. Despite the restaurant’s name, their menus are entirely vegan except for one lunch item that contains optional feta cheese.

Pictures by Brian and Joselle

MiLah Vegetarian Restaurant
218 South 16th Street
Philadelphia, PA 19102
(215) 732-8888

www.milahvegetarian.com

Vegan Cupcakes From New Jersey, with Love

Okay, I cannot vouch for the flavor of the baked goods by the etsy shop, The Cupcake Mint because I haven't ordered anything from them yet. But I could not resist sharing their link for two key reasons: (1) everything is vegan and (2) they are based in New Jersey. I must support my home state. If these treats are as delicious as they are gorgeous, I will not be disappointed.

Consider gifting your loved ones or yourself with some local baked goods this Valentine's Day. If you're in the New Jersey-area, contact the Cupcake Mint--they offer free delivery to New Jerseyans who are within a 25 mile-radius of them (although you can still order and pay for shipping through etsy if you're not). If you're in the Philly-area, try Cakekraft or Microbaked. Microbaked made the amazing cupcakes I had at last year's Trenton Avenue Arts Festival.

Random Fridays: New Favorite Blogs and Something for the Dogs

* Vegbrarian is the musings of a vegan librarian. I love "Activism in the Stacks," which gives tips on how to increase the number of veg-friendly listing your local library houses, including:

Even if you skim through books you don't want to check out, leave a few on
a nearby table, study carrel or shelf. Books that are left on these surfaces are
routinely collected and scanned for in-house use, which can impact collection
development. Pulling books out of the stacks may also attract passerby who
otherwise would not have gone to the stacks.

* I listed Vegan Guinea Pig in my roundup of vegan cookbooks coming out this year. Check out the extensive product reviews, including white chocolate chips, and recipes for Papa Chorizo Frittata, which just looks yum.

* My Tea Cups is one Philly blogger's take on everything tea. She's been kind enough to share with me some Philly tea spots I have yet to visit, like Remedy Tea Bar and TBar. She also makes and sells the most adorable haiku teacups on etsy that honors all that is great about tea and the city of Philadelphia. My favorite is:

listen to the sound
of the teapot as it sings
water leaps inside

* I found Me, Myself An Eye after Sister Toldja's post on why white people shouldn't attend Obama's inauguration was featured Jezebel . It was satire but many commenters on Jezebel just didn't get it. The blog's banner includes images of RuPaul, an "I heart tofu," t-shirt, and false eyelashes, which was more than enough reason for me to add her to my feed.

* Through Me, Myself An Eye, I discovered Bed-Stuy Banana, which hooked me right away with its astute, personal take on gentrification and more than a few pictures of provocative or downright mystifying neighborhood signs.

* Punk Rock Human Resources gives the real deal on the HR job selection process. She also loves cats, calls out irresponsible dog breeders (though I argued in the comments that responsible dog breeding is an oxymoron), and states why the First Lady should get paid.

* And won't you please consider donating a Kuranda bed to your local shelter?

* What Brian and I will be up to this weekend:

• a massage for me at Juju (my neck is totally giving up on me), courtesy of a gift certificate from Brian
• buffet lunch at Essene (I can't go to Juju without this)
• a free cooking demonstration by Horizons chef and owner, Rich Landau, at Foster's
• maybe Wendy and Lucy if Brian doesn't drown in school work
• vegan chili at a friend's house
• some damn sleep

New York City's Tiengarden, Babycakes, & More

On Friday, Brian and I took a vacation day to go into Manhattan and see Spring Awakening before it closed on Sunday the 18th. Of course, when we planned this trip, we had no idea it would be one of the coldest days of winter so far. Also, we hoped to get cheap student rush tickets with Brian's Drexel ID but these are not guaranteed without a very early start to the day. The idea of taking the train early in the morning only to have to hang around until 8 PM for the show did not seem like a vacation day to me so we slept in Friday morning and didn't get to New York until close to 2 PM.



By the time we arrived at the Spring Awakening box office, the student rush tickets were gone and the cheapest ones left were $87. Sorry but no. We passed some time until the TKTS booth at Times Square opened at 3 PM by grabbing a quick lunch at Food Emporium's salad and sandwich station. I got a simple salad of greens, grilled vegetables, black bean and corn salsa, red onions, and carrots. The menu said they had smoked tofu but all I saw laid out were some sad looking, unseasoned chunks. I love onions--raw, roasted, caramelized, every kind--but I had to give Brian about half of the onions in my salad because I was so overloaded with them, they were burning my mouth.



After standing on the TKTS line for maybe 10 minutes or so, my fingertips started to burn and sting. Even through my Isotoner supposedly nuclear thermal seal gloves, I felt like a mild case of frostbite on my hands was a very reasonable proposition. I did not want to get frostbite standing in line for $60 tickets to Spring Awakening all while putting up with crazysss Chicago promoters prancing around me in red tights and sticking fliers in my face. I told Brian that I could wait until his office got tickets to Spring Awakening for free when the tour arrives in Philly in June. We went with plan B instead.



The American Museum of Natural History is my favorite museum. More specifically, any planetarium is one of my favorite places in the world. I love this part of Manhattan, too. So often when I visit the city, I'm downtown where the streets are smaller, the buildings shorter, the space more compressed. Uptown is more like how I grew up when I lived in Manhattan (except without all the money and nannies)--more residential, a bit quieter, wider streets, kids coming home from school all bundled up with their friends, parents, or nanny. By the time Brian and I walked up to the museum and saw a lit up polar bear figure standing in the middle of an ice skating rink, I knew missing Spring Awakening was not a loss.



Still, it was late and we had less than 2 hours before the museum closed. Brian wanted to see dinosaur bones and I wanted outer space. It was such the perfect time and day to go because it wasn't crowded at all, mostly toddlers (many of them, for some reason, without shoes) and tourists. We were able to spend a lot of time admiring huge fossils and didn't have to scramble for seats at the planetarium. Halfway through the space show, "Cosmic Collisions," I felt the way I imagine the devoutly religious feel at a moving service: awe-struck, blissful, and humbled. Later on that night, right before Brian and I fell asleep I asked, "What is space? What would the end of space look like? What would nothingness be made out of? Doesn't that just freak you out!?" He answered, "Golden Girls is almost over. I'm going to bed."



After the museum, we headed downtown for food. I wanted to try Sacred Chow but Brian was craving Chinese food so we checked out the entirely vegan Tiengarden instead. We ordered soup--wonton for me and sweet and sour for Brian. The soup hit the spot on a cold night but it did not come close to being as wonderfully flavored as my favorite wonton soup at Philly's Golden Empress Garden. There wasn't much in the way of meat-like dishes other than veggie ham (barf for me, heaven for Brian). Just variations of tofu and wheat gluten with veggies. Brian loves his mock meats but this menu seemed a bit more wholesome to me. For my entree, I ordered soy nuggets in basil sauce with broccoli, zucchini, and red peppers. Brian ordered sliced wheat gluten in ginger sauce with carrots and broccoli. Although we were the only ones in the restaurant, our food took quite some time to arrive. There wasn't much in the way of portions and my vegetables were very crisp--just barely cooked--and lightly coated in sauce. Not a nice greasy takeout hit but a good thing now that I'm back on Weight Watchers. I liked the nutty rice mix and the crunchy veggies but I definitely could have done without the soy nuggets. They were off in a way I could not describe until we got home and Brian said, "Your nuggets tasted like feet." In fact, during dinner, Brian did something I have never seen him do: he gave me back the nuggets I shared with him. Brian said his gluten tasted like bread, which is basically what gluten is but the best seitan doesn't scream "soggy, salty bread."



We headed next door to Bluestockings Women's Bookstore, vowing to not visit Tiengarden again. I could have spent hours in New York's only feminist bookstore. Not because it's feminist but because it's a bookstore and I could basically live in any bookstore. I think I enjoy skimming countless books in a bookstore more than I actually enjoy just sitting down to read one book. Brian and I looked at a book called Body Drama for quite a while. It's the book I wish I'd had when I was 14. I'm pretty much over obsessing over my stretch marks and how I look in a clingy sweater but it's always nice to be reminded of what a world with sane body image can be like and it's nice to have a boyfriend who likes reading that kind of book with me.



Although Bluestockings had tea and a selection of pre-wrapped vegan desserts, since posting about the forthcoming Babycakes book, I had cupcake on the brain so I decided we should give Babycakes another try. I went for the gluten-free vanilla cupcake and a tiny agave brownie bite with Earl Grey tea. Brian ordered a sticky bun. By the time we sat in a corner by the window, the place was hot and popping. I tried the brownie and it was very moist with a hint of nutty caramel but not too sweet. Nice. I tried some of Brian's bun, which tasted more like a crumbly and dry biscuit. The second I dug into my cupcake, unfortunately, I knew my opinion of Babycakes would not improve. In fact, I had to downgrade it quite a bit. If I had ordered a corn muffin, this would have come closer to hitting the spot. But no, I ordered a vanilla cupcake. I know that Babycakes specializes in healthier, allergen-free fare and the place was not wanting for business but a cupcake should be moist, not dry. It should stay together and not crumble. And it should taste like sweetness and vanilla, not lemon and corn. A cupcake is a cupcake, not broccoli. If I do ever visit Babycakes again, I'll stick with the brownie bites.



We headed back to Penn Station in time to make the 10 PM express back to New Brunswick. Due to it being Alaska-cold, however, NJ Transit had its infamous signal problems and we waited on the track for over an hour and a half. Even though we missed Spring Awakening, didn't have a single great meal, and got home exhausted and freezing, our day of hooky was fun and relaxing. I also got an extra weekend day with Brian before he headed back to Philly on Sunday night and another chance to right the cupcake wrongs on Saturday when I made the Toasted Coconut Cupcakes with Pecan Fudge Frosting from Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World for my friend's birthday. They were a huge hit with all the Wii-playing adults although one seven year old passed on the cupcakes, instead requesting "normal" ones (meaning without nuts).


*I'm copying personal finance blog, The Simple Dollar, by bolding critical parts of this post, namely: vegan or vegan-friendly restaurants, meals, recipes, and things I find funny.

How to Avoid My Failed Holiday Dinner

I’ve left it to other, more competent food bloggers to post about their fabulous Thanksgiving menus. Let me offer something different by being just slightly bitter. And learn from my mistakes.

1. Do not try more than one or two new recipes. Last Thanksgiving was my first one as a vegetarian and since I was eating with Brian’s family early in the day before heading off to my family’s house, I didn’t cook. I just ate tons of macaroni and cheese. The following day, Brian and I roasted a Tofurky, which was just fine but didn’t knock our socks off. This year I wanted it to be special so I searched for recipes high and low and changed my mind a dozen times. I settled on roasted seitan with cornbread stuffing. I’ve made seitan before and I’ve made cornbread before but never in this way. The stuffing was great, but not stuffing-like. It just tasted like mashed cornbread with onions and celery. No matter how much sage I added, I couldn’t get it to taste like Thanksgiving. Other cornbread stuffing recipes use half cornbread, half regular bread. I think my mistake was going fully cornbread.

The roasted seitan fell flat flavorwise and I didn’t help matters by overcooking it. The good thing about it being nearly burnt was that it created a nice crispy skin. Also, they weren’t pretty like on Vegan Yum Yum. In fact, they looked like very large turds. It was certainly good enough for Brian and me to eat but the one nonvegan brave enough to try it threw it out behind my back. Ouch.

Basically, I made too many new things. Things that may have turned out great had I made them once or twice before under less time-constrained situations.

2. When making vegan foods for a crowd of nonvegans, utilize reliable vegan sources. This means, don’t veganize a coconut cashew chocolate tart from Bon Appetit. Sure, it will be tasty because you can’t go wrong with coconut, chocolate, and 2 sticks of Earth Balance. But soy creamer may not be the best substitute for half and half so the tart will congeal to the pan rather than form a tart you can easily cut into.

3. Don’t rely solely on the Internet for recipes. The internet has a wealth of information but you get what you pay for. Anyone can post a recipe that you can print out for free. That doesn’t mean it’s been tested for accuracy and quality and edited for clarity. Cookbook recipes are thoroughly tested and combed through many times over by experienced and knowledgeable editors. I’ve had mostly positive results with Veganomicon, You Won’t Believe It’s Vegan, Eat Drink and Be Vegan, and The Joy of Vegan Baking.

4. Spend more time planning how you’ll cook rather than on what you’ll cook. Cooking during the holidays and for a large group is more about time management than culinary prowess. My family has not grasped this concept, which is why we eat at 8:30 PM and starve (and drink alcohol) for hours before dinner.

5. Get over yourself. Having family and friends over is about seeing them; it’s not about reenacting a restaurant on opening night. Besides, Brian was really the only other person I had to impress and he will eat almost anything I make. He thought the seitan roast was good enough and good enough is fine for the holidays.

6. When in doubt, ditch your family and make reservations. After checking out Blossom’s Thanksgiving menu, this option seems to be the most appealing. So, next weekend Brian is taking me there to celebrate my birthday (December 25. Yes, that day) And how am I spending my actual Christmas/birthday? I’m going to spend the day with just Brian, cooking food in my own organized and timely fashion, eating vegan rugelach from The Joy of Vegan Baking and easy chocolate croissants from Nigella Express (they are vegan if you use Pepperidge Farm puff pastry!), going out to see Marley and Me, and just relaxing.

Random Fridays: It's Cold (Wrap Yourself In Anything But Wool)

* Jezebel's list of 75 Books Every Woman Should Read is oh so awesome. Today would be a great day to curl up with one of the books because it is rainy and gray where I am. My favorite book on the list? I Capture the Castle by Dodie Smith. You can listen to a reading of the short story "The Lottery," by Shirley Jackson (the short story collection of the same name was listed first by Jezebel) on this episode of Vegetarian Food for Thought.

* The latest episode of Colleen Patrick-Goudreau's Vegetarian Food for Thought, "The Shearing of Sheep," is one of my favorites. If you don't know how wool is produced and the many other ways in which sheep are used the world over, this is a great place to start.

* Since this seems to be a very literary post today, I'd like to recommend another favorite episode, a reading of the short story "A Mother's Tale." I cried when I first heard it.

* The last few times I walked into Book Trader in Philadelphia, I kept looking at Three Black Skirts by Anna Johnson. It's one of those hot-pink books marketed towards women that tells you how to do everything (as Brian said while he read it over my shoulder, "Who sits down to write a book telling people how to do every single thing in the world?" But he was riveted and we're going to fix his running toilet because of it). The tone, however, was cheekier and smarter than your average chick lit self-help selection. I never bought it, though, because I have too many books. Just last week, I came across a copy of it at my library, borrowed it, and devoured the book in a weekend. It was uplifiting, informative, funny, sweet and told me why cotton-blend cardigans are best, how to hang a heavy picture (nail it to the stud), fix a running toilet, and host an unfussy dinner party. I read about why Eloise, Moomintroll, and Horton are better than Prozac. She loves yoga and you know I'm all about that lately. It just generally comforted me during a weekend when I was still feeling raw and shaky from the loss of Luckie and the end of a friendship.

* I was hungry for more Anna Johnson. Luckily, a few months ago she released The Yummy Mummy Manifesto. Okay, it sounds like some horrific guide to losing 30 pounds 2 days after you've given birth and, also, I am not pregnant but I ordered it anyway because, from the looks of the reviews I've read, this is not some brainless, shaming tome. It's a fun celebration of being a creative mom. I'll need it someday.

* Why not add a final Food for Thought shout-out in honor of mothers. This one is on motherhood and animals, specifically cow mothers.

Luckie 1994-2008

On Sunday morning and on what would have been my grandmother's 92nd birthday, Luckie died. I found him dead on the kitchen floor. I think he choked after vomiting. I wasn't with him. No one was. He died alone. I feel terrible for this. I hope he did not suffer for long and that he wasn't scared. Of course, I will never know. I just know that he isn't suffering now.

After fighting arthritis, a thyroid tumor, seizures, and the undignified maladies of old age, Luckie probably succumbed to a relatively new problem for us, a paralyzed vocal cord. This is what made him gag after drinking water and made him pant and lose 10 pounds in one month. This is what he died from. I didn't see it coming.

Even in his last weeks, as he lost weight and became a picky eater, he still followed us from room to room, still enjoyed his dinner of turkey or ground beef with rice and veggies. On his last night, he picked up a bone that had been lying on the floor untouched for at least a week. I thought he was unable to eat bones anymore but he picked it up and chewed it slowly. I was so happy to see him do something he had once enjoyed so much but had to give up. Then I became concerned that he might choke so I left him with the few small pieces he broke off and threw out the large part. He didn't try to take it from me, as he would have when he was younger (when he was younger, he never would have let me near his bone, period). He gave in and slowly chewed on the small bits before leaving them behind for his water. Maybe he knew that he was going to die and he just wanted one last bone.

I feel lost, guilty, bereft, and sad. I ache and miss him. On Wednesday, my mother and I will watch him be cremated and then we will take his ashes home. On the drive up to the pet cemetery on Sunday, we carefully wrapped Luckie up before placing him on the back of the pick-up truck. I drove in front with Brian while my mother, stepfather, and Luckie followed in the truck. We had our hazard lights on because we were driving slowly but we also inadvertently gave Luckie a final procession.

Luckie was in my life for half of my life. I haven't known an adulthood without him and with him gone, I finally feel as though my childhood is completely over. I remember a time when Luckie was my only true friend. I remember our walks in the woods, the one time when I sat crying on a rock and was lonely, except he was there. He was there when I cried, there when I giggled, was so ecstatic to walk with me and catch balls I threw, and he seemed to forgive me when I was too busy with my own life and took for granted that he would always be around.

Taking care of Luckie has been such a focus for me in the last few months that last night I felt like howling as I laid in bed and knew there was no one to check on at 2 in the morning anymore. The house is so empty. We've left his last bit of water in his bowl but many signs of him are gone. Even most of the dog hair is cleaned up. As I pulled into my driveway last night, I still looked for his head to pop up in the window.

Losing him, even in just a day, has shown me who the truly compassionate people in my life are. A yoga teacher I've only spoken to once and arranged to meet with privately today sent a kind email expressing her sympathy after I called to cancel our meeting. Johanna of Vegans of Color, who I have only met once and only know through a blog, immediately sent her sympathies. Sky, who lives across the country, called within minutes of me sending her an email about Luckie's passing. Two friends who I see or speak to just a few times a year sounded truly concerned and hurt when I spoke with them. Then another friend, who I have known for over 15 years ignored my calls, didn't listen to my sobbing message, and then feigned ignorance when I finally spoke to them and could not even muster up an, "I'm sorry," when I confronted them on their unavailability and duplicity. I am raw and angry and have felt conflicted about this friend for a very long time and now all ambivalence has come into crystal clear focus. This person is not a friend and I don't want them in my life. Losing Luckie has made many things clear: who does and doesn't love me, what my next moves will be. Everything is now apparent after being in limbo for so long.

Brian. Oh my god, what would I do without him. He was with me when I found Luckie. He cleaned up after Luckie while I paced around the house sobbing and sounding insane. He helped us take Luckie to the pet cemetery. He cried for Luckie and held me. Having Brian in my life also has made it clear to me that relationships and friendships I once mistook for love, attachment and passion were nothing more than toxic wastes of time. I'm grateful that I have Brian. I am not alone anymore and even when I sometimes feel lonely, he still loves me.

Luckie most of all always showed me pure, unfettered, unconditional love and affection. I will miss his sweetness, his intuition, his intelligence, his sense of humor and mischief, and his valiant spirit. He outlived most retrievers by two years and he left still being able to eat and walk and hobble from room to room to be with his loved ones. He still gave kisses and never became despondent even after his walks stopped and his world got so much smaller. I love and miss him so much and thank him for being one of my greatest teachers.

Renewal

A few weeks ago, I had a craving for salmon teriyaki, a meal I occassionally enjoyed buying from a restaurant around my job. I didn't give into this craving but for a few moments throughout the day, I thought, "Hmmm, salmon sounds really good right now." I knew I wasn't going to eat it but I kept thinking about it.

Since then, every once in a while, the thought pops into my head, "I wonder if I'll ever eat meat again," or "Cheese. It does taste good." I don't do anything with the thoughts. I just notice them. They go away. I'm vegan now and, unless I'm at a nonvegan restaurant (like I think I may have to go to tomorrow for work and the damn place doesn't even have a web listing on a search engine, let alone a web site for me to peruse), I do not find it in the least bit difficult to be vegan. Still, 27-plus years of eating animals and their by-products can still be slightly formidable in the face of just months of vegetarianism and veganism.

In the last week or so, I've been obsessively listening to the Hip Tranquil Chick podcast and loving it. Totally getting my yoga on, journaling, really focusing on me, so much so that I did yoga poses while Brian painted inside my mother's house (I did help, too; I just took some yoga breaks!). This is in contrast to what I've been focusing on in the past year, which has mainly been Brian and veganism. At work, I usually listened to Food for Thought, Vegan Freak Radio, Animal Voices, and others. I spent a majority of my waking hours thinking about animals and food. I'm not saying getting into yoga and other subjects is making me want to eat salmon. Yoga has that whole ahimsa thing going for it, so delving into yoga only strengthens my commitment to veganism. What I am saying is, I took a little break from Hip Tranquil Chick today and listened to the latest Vegan Freak and Food for Thought episodes. I saw the picture in the upper left hand corner of this post with the shownotes for the latest Animal Voices episode on Farm Sanctuary's pig rescue and almost started crying. I knew the answer to the question, "I wonder if I'll ever eat meat again?" No. I won't eat animals again. Not as long as my eyes, ears, head, and heart are open. Since veganism is still new to me and still something I don't automatically share with people, I still need to do work to reinforce my dedication to and practice of it.

Canine Cake & Sunday Brunch

The first recipe I made from My Sweet Vegan was the Canine Cake, of course. After Luckie's health challenges in this, his 14th year, I figured he deserved a cake. He hasn't touched commercial pet food in well over 10 years and he has certainly had his fair share of baked goods passed his way from the table to floor but he's never had an entire cake made for him.

The cake is simple and wholesome--nothing but flour, baking soda, shredded carrots, peanut butter, canola oil and applesauce. It's a cinch to make--just briefly mix all the ingredients together until you have a consistency more akin to cookie dough than cake batter, place into two small ramekins (or a small baking dish), and bake for 25 to 30 minutes.



Although it's not very sweet, the end result is incredibly moist and like a mildly nutty carrot cake. Add some sugar or even just serve with some jam and I'm sure even the human dessert craving will be sated. In fact, Brian stole a generous chunk from Luckie this morning. But Brian said that is only fair since Luckie has helped himself to our meals more than once.

Oh, the dog seemed to like it too.

On a recent epidsode of Animal Voices, Isa Chandra Moskowitz said that Portlanders really love their brunch, particularly biscuits and gravy. Brian and I found this to be true when we were in Portland a few weeks ago. We had tofu scramble, smoky kale, hash browns, biscuits and gravy, and a berry crumble at Sweet Pea Baking Company's weekly Sunday brunch. Sweet Pea does not need to do brunch because their marionberry muffin was the best muffin I've ever had in my entire life and the Elvis cake (bananas and peanut butter and chocolate oh my) completely silenced Brian and I as we sat in the rental car in an Oregon state park eating it instead of hiking. That's more than enough. But they do brunch too because they care and because they are vegan angels.

Inspired by their brunch, Brian and I cooked up the tofu scramble from The New Becoming Vegetarian, which features nutritional yeast. I must be earning more and more vegan stripes every day because now I like the stuff and can't wait to use it again. Instead of potatoes, I sliced up a green plantain and fried it in a small amount of canola oil before blotting and lightly salting them. Add some Amy's meatless grain and vegetable-based sausages and you are good to go.

Canine Cake photos by Brian & Joselle; Brunch photo by Brian

Random Fridays: Guess Who Is Going to School?

Congratulations, Brian, on your admittance into Drexel University’s College of Information Science and Technology! Please allow me to disagree with your modest claims that this is really no big deal. Yes, it is! Not everyone is admitted into graduate school and not everyone takes the time and effort to go through the various steps of choosing and applying to a program while working full-time, taking care of a house, and doing the whole long-distance relationship dance with their girlfriends, not to mention eating, sleeping, and showering. I know you will succeed in school, make lots of genuine connections (‘cause that’s just what you do), and go on to be a top-notch archivist. You will probably invent a new, cutting-edge archiving system that will blow Mr. Dewey out of the water. Have fun and I love you.

(Picture is of the Library of Congress, Washington DC, where the Storycorps Brian and I recorded in Grand Central Terminal last year is archived. Maybe he'll be able to find it there after he's done with school.)

Luckie. With Bone.

luckie with bone, originally uploaded by joselle.

Luckie with a greenie-type bone in his mouth. It is unusual for him to just let it sit in his mouth but since he had a second seizure, he's on a med that makes him a little more loopy and sedate. This is why I could take this picture. Otherwise, he would never let me get this close to him during bone time.

So, yes. He's still doing okay.

Three Days Until Portland and San Francisco

It's been quiet on the blogging front, what with Luckie having a tumor and then a seizure (by the way, he seems really great lately, very alert and always up for eating) and Brian and I heading off to Portland and San Francisco this Thursday. I've been trying to tie up loose ends at work so I come back to only 5000 emails as opposed to 10,000 of them. Brian and I have also been trying to come up with a loose itinerary for our vacation. Mainly, I've planned where we're going to eat. Brian as a veteran vegan and me as the newbie will be in vegan heaven in these two cities. It will be so nice to go to a restaurant and be able to order ANYTHING. Other than that, though, I'm leaving it up to fate. I just want to relax and get away from my ever-present to-do list: bike ride, hike, walk around, laze in bookstores, eat, not touch a computer for 10 days, and spend time with my boyfriend for more than 24 hours in a row. It will be so nice to be in the same city with him for over a week. We'll also be seeing some friends, including Sky. We'll be back with lots of pictures and restaurant reviews sometime after the fourth of July. Until then, if you have any recommendations for Portland and San Francisco--food-related or not--please leave some comments.

* San Francisco postcard found on Flickr.

Luckie

Luckie has thyroid cancer. It's not an official diagnosis since he has not had a biopsy but the vet is pretty sure that is what his lemon-sized (my nurse oncologist mother says plum) tumor in his throat area is. He's 14. He's lived a good, long life. Much healthier than a lot of dogs who are 9 or 10 years old. His only elderly health problem has been bad arthritis. Otherwise, he's remained curious, happy, loving, lovable, and incredibly interested in food.

His age--or his species--doesn't make his diagnosis and the fact that I will lose him one day any less painful and scary.

He has choked once while eating food. His breathing is more labored when he exerts himself. I now worry every time he barks and coughs, wondering if the tumor is going to close off the esophagus and choke him to death.

I don't know what we'll do yet. I need to read over the information the vet will send, possibly get a second opinion, try some natural remedies in an attempt to approve his thyroid functioning and keep the tumor from getting bigger.

I've known about the tumor for well over a month after Brian found it while hugging the dog. I tried to tuck my fear away, tried to say, maybe it's always been there but I never knew. But I knew that wasn't true. When I took him to the vet on Saturday, I said it was for a regular checkup but it was really for the tumor. At first the vet couldn't find it and didn't seem too concerned by the fatty tumors she found. But then she found it and she turned very concerned very quickly. She aspirated the tumor at least 5 times. All that came out was blood, which means the tumor is being very well-fed.

We talked and I said, "Well, I don't want to do anything drastic. He's 14. Let's just keep an eye on it and make sure he's comfortable. I don't want surgery or chemo." She agreed. She still needed to look at slides and check out the cells more, although it would be hard for a lab to read with so much blood.

When I spoke to the vet yesterday, she said things like carcinoma, metastasis, four months. I lost my shit. I stopped eating. Suddenly everything I said about wanting to make him comfortable seemed stupid and, most importantly, a lie. What about chemo or surgery? I don't want to give up. She said she wouldn't try surgery if it were her but we'd need more information--xrays and biopsies--anyway. I felt nauseous. I had to leave work early not because anything was wrong with Luckie--he's fine for now. I just wanted to be with him and I didn't want a stupid reason like work to get in the way of being with him while he's still happy and relatively healthy.

If you have a companion animal, give them a big hug for me. I hope they're okay. If you don't have one, and you know you can totally care for and love one for their whole life, I can't tell you enough what a great idea that is. One of the biggest reasons I've been so open to going vegan is because of Luckie. When I thought of killing and eating him or keeping him penned up so I could take his milk (well, if he were a girl) or his fur, it seemed unthinkable, sick, and cruel. I've rarely met a creature--human or otherwise--who has such personality, who makes me so happy just looking at him cock his head when I talk to him, who is so damn sweet and funny. Companion animals can be great ambassadors for farm animals. They can break open your heart. And they will also eventually break it.

Happy 1 Year Anniversary to Mutual Menu

Mutual Menu turns one year old today and so much has changed in this year. My initial idea for this blog was to document how Brian and I navigated a relationship with him being vegan and me being an omnivore. I thought it would be fun to visit restaurants that would accommodate both of our diets and then write about the experience. I would think of recipes that could work for both chicken and tofu. I’d give tips to other “mixed” couples and groups. I never planned on giving up eating meat and Brian never asked that of me. When we first met, I thought vegetarians were noble but that it would be too hard for me to be one. And vegans? Forget it. I wasn't going to live without cheese.

On June 6, 2007, when I posted for the first time, I had already stopped eating land animals, much to my own surprise. At this point, I started eating more fish than I ever did as an omnivore because it made eating out at restaurants a little easier. More than that, I just wasn't ready to be a vegetarian, mainly because I didn't want my eating habits to be judged by others. As someone with a complicated relationship to food, I just didn't want my food to be even more dissected than it already was, by me or others.

Just about seven months later, I finally decided to stop eating fish. After months of listening to Vegan Freak Radio and Compassionate Cooks' Food for Thought podcasts, reading Veg News and Herbivore Magazine, collecting links to many vegan & vegetarian blogs, and visiting Catskill Animal Sanctuary with Brian, I was finally ready to be a full-fledged vegetarian. Anything less than that was completely hypocritical to me. I wasn't, however, ready to give up eggs and cheese, although I was at least open to the possibility of being vegan. I bought my cage-free, organic eggs knowing it was a meaningless label and tried to buy only rennet-free cheese but still ate whatever cheese I was given when eating out.

Last month, I was eating an egg for breakfast and the same feeling of revulsion I felt while eating roast chicken for the last time came over me again. Without fanfare, without announcing it to anyone, I gave up eating eggs and dairy. I just felt like I was ready to stop.

So, I guess I'm vegan now, though I'm reluctant to say I am. I just don't want to deal with people who don't understand why I would make a choice. I also still remember how enjoyable eating cheese and even meat can be and I worry that one day Brian will find me in a closet injecting cheddar into my veins. I feel like it would be a bigger disappointment to him, myself, and any of you reading to be a big talker and end up failing at this than it would be to just never have gone down this road at all. I'm doing, though, and it's really not nearly as hard to be vegan as I thought it would be.


I have a lot I would love to do with this blog, one being just having more time for it. I work full-time as an editor, have a long commute, and a very nasty case of repetitive strain injury in both arms, so the last thing I need to do when I’m not working is sitting in front of a computer typing. Luckily, having tendinitis/carpal tunnel/arthritis/chronic pain doesn’t interfere with eating!

I've picked some of my favorite posts from this year, starting from recent time and working my way back to earlier days. One of the biggest reasons I've been able to see the world so differently and change my behavior so drastically is because writing about my thoughts and experiences here has allowed those things to happen:

Would You Like Fries With That? Viva Las Vegans, Trenton Avenue Arts Festival, making new friends.

Guest posts by my friends, Sky Chari of Eats Well With Others and Jessie.

Everyone Is A Little Vegan on how many of the foods we already eat are naturally and perfectly vegan.

Mutable Menu I describe my reaction to passing a truck full of pigs on my drive to work.

My Food Resolutions for 2008

Guess Who Has the World's Best Boyfriend? The answer would be me. There's also a quick and simple comforting soup recipe in this post.

Seven Ways to Host a Vegetarian-Friendly Cocktail Party

What Nigella Lawson Said To Me

Baking Power! Even though Brian doesn't post often, this blog is a joint effort. Here he writes about the maple walnut cake we made. It looked like Pac Man.

The Nature of the Beast Another post by Brian on language.

Author, podcaster, cooking instructor, and activist Colleen Patrick-Goudreau sends a lively greeting my way, by way of Sky.

An ode to Summer 2007.

Devising a Mutual Menu is my all-time favorite post because it's the most personal post. It's about my grandfather.

The Wedding

There was no better way to usher in the unofficial start of summer than by attending a wedding. The Sunday of Memorial Day weekend could not have been more perfect--pure sunshine, blue and cloudless skies, warm weather. Our friends got married in West Orange, NJ, in the backyard of the groom's parents' home. From there we could clearly see the New York City skyline. We saw chipmunks scurrying around the yard, probably picking up dropped appetizers. Birds chirped and flew overhead. Planes flew in and out of Newark Airport in the distance and, at night, they looked like moving stars.

The food at the wedding was fresh and delicious. You know what they say about wedding food (it sucks). Well, this maxim did not apply. The appetizers included many meat options, including shrimp cocktail and a huge platter of fresh strawberries, melon, grapes, and dried apricots with a half-dozen cheeses. I was somehow able to resist the wedges of Brie and veiny blue cheeses. Brian and I instead munched on the fruit and vegetables, the mini samosas and water crackers. I also drank a flute of champagne and a glass of lemon soda and vodka, which pretty much tided me over until dinner, which was a fabulous and inadvertently vegetarian feast. There was beef and chicken but otherwise, the dozens of other dishes were ours for the taking: falaffel; tabbouleh that bursted with mint and lemon; four kinds of hummus and baba ganoush; farfalle with garlicky tomato sauce; olive bread; tomato foccacia; grilled asparagus, peppers, eggplant, and zucchini; french fries; salad with sun dried tomatoes and olives. I was stuffed after my first plate but I couldn't resist sharing a second one with Brian. I hadn't eat much before the wedding so, by the time dinner was served, I was ravenous and that is why there are no pictures of the food!

Our friends eschewed the traditional wedding cake for an ice cream sundae station. Brian and I skipped the ice cream but gorged on many of the toppings like Oreos (yuh huh--they're vegan!), walnuts, maraschino cherries, pineapple and strawberries dipped in chocolate, mini chocolate covered apples on cinnamon sticks.

I danced with Brian. Danced with the bride. Walked barefoot on the lawn. The newlyweds gave baby spruces and lily bulbs as wedding favors, both of which I planted the next day. Watching them get married made me so happy. I cried through the whole ceremony. And then ate my weight in joy.

Random Fridays: Vegan Fashion Booty & Some Links

Alloy A great place to find cheap and often leather-free bags and shoes. I just purchased the metallic, copper Birkenstock-like sandals and madras print flip flops as well as a great tie dye dress for the beach and a raspberry pink blouse.

Kiyonna My “wedding” dress. And by wedding dress, I mean the one I’ll be wearing to other people’s weddings this summer. I myself am not getting hitched. And if I were, I think I’d wear red.

Alternative Outfitters Is where I bought wedges to match my dress. I love this store. They have a wide selection of stylish and very affordable shoes, bags, and beauty items.

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My favorite just stumbled upon links this week are:

Vegan Yum Yum How did I miss this one? The pictures alone are worth a visit. They are so luscious and textured, you can see how good the food must taste. This will definitely be a new regular read for me.

Vegan Eats and Treats Another site full of excellent and colorful photographs.

Pistachio Crusted Tofu from Fat Free Vegan.

Oprah’s 21-Day Cleanse You may have heard that Oprah Winfrey is giving a vegan diet a shot for the next three weeks. What’s exciting about this experiment she’s embarking on is the fact that this is not a fast just for personal health reasons. The treatment of animals is a part of the discussion Oprah and author and cleanse advisor, Kathy Freston are sharing with others. Oprah wrote in her blog:

“How can you say you're trying to spiritually evolve, without even a thought about what happens to the animals whose lives are sacrificed in the name of gluttony?

"So this 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about it differently and see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods—and what I'm willing to do to change.”

No matter the outcome for Oprah, I think it’s wonderful that a vegan diet is being discussed with millions of viewers and web site users. I’m sure more than a few people who give the cleanse a try will end up staying vegan. I also love that Kathy Freston discusses animal treatment in her book, Quantum Wellness and cites resources on animal rights.

There are some great vegan recipes on Oprah’s site, such as Scampi Style Tofu Wrap and Black Bean Cakes with Lime-Peppered Mayo by chef Tal Ronnen, a graduate of New York City’s Natural Gourmet Institute, which is where I took a really fun and delicious class with vegan chef and author, Myra Kornfeld.

On the nonfood front, Putting Things Off is the anti-productivity web site. It posits the revolutionary idea that we cast aside our PDA addictions in favor of paper and pencil. I love the sarcastic humor and simple, practical tips.

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Have a good, and hopefully long, weekend. Off to a wedding in my wedges.