Happy 1 Year Anniversary to Mutual Menu

Mutual Menu turns one year old today and so much has changed in this year. My initial idea for this blog was to document how Brian and I navigated a relationship with him being vegan and me being an omnivore. I thought it would be fun to visit restaurants that would accommodate both of our diets and then write about the experience. I would think of recipes that could work for both chicken and tofu. I’d give tips to other “mixed” couples and groups. I never planned on giving up eating meat and Brian never asked that of me. When we first met, I thought vegetarians were noble but that it would be too hard for me to be one. And vegans? Forget it. I wasn't going to live without cheese.

On June 6, 2007, when I posted for the first time, I had already stopped eating land animals, much to my own surprise. At this point, I started eating more fish than I ever did as an omnivore because it made eating out at restaurants a little easier. More than that, I just wasn't ready to be a vegetarian, mainly because I didn't want my eating habits to be judged by others. As someone with a complicated relationship to food, I just didn't want my food to be even more dissected than it already was, by me or others.

Just about seven months later, I finally decided to stop eating fish. After months of listening to Vegan Freak Radio and Compassionate Cooks' Food for Thought podcasts, reading Veg News and Herbivore Magazine, collecting links to many vegan & vegetarian blogs, and visiting Catskill Animal Sanctuary with Brian, I was finally ready to be a full-fledged vegetarian. Anything less than that was completely hypocritical to me. I wasn't, however, ready to give up eggs and cheese, although I was at least open to the possibility of being vegan. I bought my cage-free, organic eggs knowing it was a meaningless label and tried to buy only rennet-free cheese but still ate whatever cheese I was given when eating out.

Last month, I was eating an egg for breakfast and the same feeling of revulsion I felt while eating roast chicken for the last time came over me again. Without fanfare, without announcing it to anyone, I gave up eating eggs and dairy. I just felt like I was ready to stop.

So, I guess I'm vegan now, though I'm reluctant to say I am. I just don't want to deal with people who don't understand why I would make a choice. I also still remember how enjoyable eating cheese and even meat can be and I worry that one day Brian will find me in a closet injecting cheddar into my veins. I feel like it would be a bigger disappointment to him, myself, and any of you reading to be a big talker and end up failing at this than it would be to just never have gone down this road at all. I'm doing, though, and it's really not nearly as hard to be vegan as I thought it would be.


I have a lot I would love to do with this blog, one being just having more time for it. I work full-time as an editor, have a long commute, and a very nasty case of repetitive strain injury in both arms, so the last thing I need to do when I’m not working is sitting in front of a computer typing. Luckily, having tendinitis/carpal tunnel/arthritis/chronic pain doesn’t interfere with eating!

I've picked some of my favorite posts from this year, starting from recent time and working my way back to earlier days. One of the biggest reasons I've been able to see the world so differently and change my behavior so drastically is because writing about my thoughts and experiences here has allowed those things to happen:

Would You Like Fries With That? Viva Las Vegans, Trenton Avenue Arts Festival, making new friends.

Guest posts by my friends, Sky Chari of Eats Well With Others and Jessie.

Everyone Is A Little Vegan on how many of the foods we already eat are naturally and perfectly vegan.

Mutable Menu I describe my reaction to passing a truck full of pigs on my drive to work.

My Food Resolutions for 2008

Guess Who Has the World's Best Boyfriend? The answer would be me. There's also a quick and simple comforting soup recipe in this post.

Seven Ways to Host a Vegetarian-Friendly Cocktail Party

What Nigella Lawson Said To Me

Baking Power! Even though Brian doesn't post often, this blog is a joint effort. Here he writes about the maple walnut cake we made. It looked like Pac Man.

The Nature of the Beast Another post by Brian on language.

Author, podcaster, cooking instructor, and activist Colleen Patrick-Goudreau sends a lively greeting my way, by way of Sky.

An ode to Summer 2007.

Devising a Mutual Menu is my all-time favorite post because it's the most personal post. It's about my grandfather.

Guest Post from Down Under by Jessie

This is a guest post by my friend, Jessie. She is, among many things, smart, thoughtful, gorgeous and she always remembers my birthday--even from all the way in Australia, which is why I've chosen a picture of an Australian water lily for her post.

My name is Jessie, I'm 26 and I've just started my graduate job. I started thinking about being vegetarian when I saw a documentary on pig-farming when I was in my teens. It had a profound effect on me and I found it difficult to justify eating meat after that. Soon after that I made the transition into not eating meat over a period of 3 years. I started out at 15 by cutting out pork products. It was easy for me to do this. I didn't miss ham or bacon at all. Then at 18 I decided I didn't want to be a part of the meat production cycle at all. Again it was pretty easy. I have however, always eaten crustaceans, although I stopped eating large fish, like tuna, a few years ago. I don't really buy into the politics of vegetarianism. I acknowledge that seafood is flesh and experiences pain when it is killed. If people have a problem with me calling myself vegetarian I don't mind. I'm not particularly attached to the label, and as long as people know that I don't eat meat when they're serving me food I am a happy camper.

I love vegetables and do enjoy cooking alone, and for myself. When I eat with my parents I usually cook for us. They're very flexible and relaxed about eating meals with no meat. Luckily my live-in partner has recently “converted” to not eating meat (but still eating seafood including big fish). I don't really know why he's done it or if my diet has had any effect on his decision to do that. I think he has done it for environmental reasons, such as the carbon dioxide and methane produced in meat farming. Having a partner with similar dietary requirements as your own is really convenient and I don't feel like so much of a weirdo now at friends' parties and at restaurants. I doubt his conversion will be long-term, but he might surprise me. He told me he still occasionally hankers for steak and sometimes sausages.

In terms of my diet, I try and eat tofu when it's on the menu at restaurants. At home I like to use firm tofu in Vietnamese cold rolls, salads and stir fries. I think tofu is good for you, as it contains lots of vegetable protein. As a typical vegetarian, I am quite fond of pasta. It's easy to cook and many non-vegetarians don't have a problem with eating vegetarian pasta. Ever since we started going out my partner has been very sensitive to me being vego. He always cooks vegetarian meals for me and we eat together. However, when his son is staying with us (2-3 nights per week) he cooks meat or fish for his son. This doesn't impact on me at all. I do sometimes wonder what my own child would eat, and if he/she would be raised vegetarian.

Even when my partner did eat meat it didn't impact on my life. If he was eating a sausage and salad for dinner, I could always eat a vegie sausage or chickpea burger and salad. I think he was OK with eating mostly vegetarian. He's pretty happy-go-lucky when it comes to food and will always eat what's put in front of him.

My best friend is also vegetarian so I feel I am pretty lucky in terms of being accepted as a vegetarian. Being vegetarian is normal in my day-to-day life. Even in my immediate work place I am not alone in my dietary choices. Three of the 5 people in my team are vegetarian. I still field a lot of questions about my diet but it's a nice feeling when you're not alone :)

If you would like to share your story or tips on how you navigate being a vegan, vegetarian, or ominvore who navigates "interdietary" relationships, please leave a comment or send an e-mail to mutualmenu@gmail.com. We would love to hear from you and possibly share your story. Thank you!

Mutual Menu is giving away one copy of Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero. To enter to win and for more details, please leave one comment here.

Top 10 Reasons Going Vegetarian Doesn't Mean You'll Lose Weight

1. Scallion pancakes and faux boneless spare ribs from Veggie Heaven. The first item is fried dough. The second one is animal-free but still slathered in ruby red barbeque sauce, black charred soy skin, and it leaves behind a neon orange grease spot on white paper. Oh, and it has fake fat in it. It's really awesomely, junkily, and spookily delicious.

2. Soy cream.

3. Bread. Especially if you've not gone vegan and the bread is accompanied with butter and cheese. And even if you are vegan, Earth Balance ain't no health food.

4. Fried shrimp in General Tso's sauce at Kingdom of Vegetarians. And fried noodles, moo shu mock chicken, and wonton soup at Golden Empress Garden. Uh, yeah, Chinese takeout was my downfall when I ate meat and it's my downfall now that I don't.

5. Vegan cookies, especially Alternative Baking Company, Liz Lovely, and Brian's mom's oatmeal raisins.

6. Burgers, fries, and shakes at Foodswings. At least you walk it off getting back to the subway station, right?

7. Eating more avocados, more nuts, and more seeds.

8. Coconut milk in curry, coconut milk in your chocolate truffles, licking the coconut cream off your fingers after you open the can of coconut milk.

9. Eating more than the suggested serving size of tofu that is already dripping in oil when you eat from Whole Foods' buffet at 10 pm because you've just gotten out of cookbook writing class, are tired and hungry, and still have to trek back to Jersey. That the buffet is surrounded by the bakery selection doesn't help either. Because you do need dessert, right?

10. Speaking of even more desserts: cupcakes, chocolate, cake, doughnuts--all vegan and vegetarian now. All often very cutely stylized, and absolutely necessary after eating something salty.

So yeah, those are all the reasons I'm still in Weight Watchers and all the reasons I haven't lost any weight since going pescetarian and then vegetarian!

* picture is of me eating my portobello and brie sandwich--courtesy of Johnny Brenda's--at last year's Trenton Avenue Arts Festival.

NPR Interview with Veganomicon's Isa and Terry. And are fish finally safe around me?

While I don't post a new entry, why don't you listen to "Secrets of the Ultimate Vegan Kitchen" on NPR's Weekend Edition? "Host Liane Hanson speaks with vegan chefs Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Hope Romero, hosts of the TV cooking show The Post Punk Kitchen. The pair have authored a new book, Veganomicon: The Ultimate Vegan Cookbook."

Coming soon, am I still a pescetarian? Doesn't look likely after I saw gutted dead fish and very large and alive fish swimming in very small captivity at Spring Garden Market in Philadelphia. However, Brian came home from the market with a very large log of Vege Chicken Ham. It scares me and pleases him. Oh, he deserves it because he also bought some eggplant, plaintains, bananas, apple, and spinach.

Anyway, off to eat some beans and corn and whole grains and, well, some cheese. Which makes me only marginally less evil than when I had what may have been my last piece of salmon on Friday.

My Food Resolutions for 2008

One of its main tenets of Brazen Careerist's latest post on making resolutions you'll keep is that you should make only one or two goals. As someone who has made only one resolution that I've ever actually kept (vowing to lose weight January 8, 2005, doing so, and then keeping most of it for those three years), I've learned that a goal is not unlike writing an outline for a school paper: break down one idea into smaller, manageable parts. My overall culinary aim this year is to eat consciously, to really think about what I eat. Not obsess or create an eating disorder but to, as often as possible, think about if what I'm eating is what I want and if it supports my beliefs. To that end, here we go:


1. Learn how to grow a container garden
I don't know what happened this New Year's Eve but while my mother and stepfather were out partying (with silly string, no less) until 3 AM, Brian and I spent the evening making and eating hot-sauced glazed tempeh (recipe courtesy of Veganomicon), roasted sweet potatoes, and too-bitter rappini; doing a crossword puzzle; watching an episode of My So-Called Life; and then setting the alarm for 11:30 PM so we wouldn't miss the ball drop at midnight. The next day, I spent a few hours at Barnes and Noble looking through gardening books and decided that, this year, I really want to grow a plant of some sort without killing it in a few weeks. I'm very much settling into my slide into domestic middle-age. Anyways, I don't want to spend $4 for a bag of out-of-season sugar snap peas anymore. And I'm sick of buying fresh parsley and only using a few sprigs of it. With the world as crazy as it is, peak oil and all that stuff, I'd better learn to grow at least some of what I eat.


2. Eat more fruit (and a little dark chocolate in moderation) and less refined, processed sweets
Before I started Weight Watchers in 2005, my downfall was greasy Chinese takeout and lots of it. I enjoyed sweets but never gorged on them. Then after dieting for a while, my sweet tooth grew. Most of the extra weight I've put on this last year is due to my need for two desserts: one after lunch and one after dinner. I'm vowing to eat more fruit throughout the day and substituting my after lunch treat with fruit and if I want to be really decadent, maybe some dried mango (yum).

3. Eat out less and cook at home more
The rest of my weight gain is due to weekends of greasy vegan Chinese takeout, not bringing my lunch to work and eating out, or bringing an Amy's Organic frozen meal or another paltry serving of food to work and supplementing it with vending machine goodies. A main culprit of eating out more is not because I have an aversion to cooking but my lack of sleep and poor menu planning. To make sure I have the energy to cook at night, I'm aiming to go to bed just an hour earlier so I am less tired and have more energy and time to devote to properly planning what I'll eat all week.


4. Eat less cheese
This gives me no pleasure but it is an attempt at virtue. Do it for the cows. Besides, cheese has no nutritional value whatsoever, unlike eggs and fish (says the pesceovotarian). Any calcium and protein in cheese is negated by all the fat. Oh, the luscious fat. I'm no monk though so I think I'll start by just eating less of it. Rather than buying grocery store cheese every week and melting it on anything edible, I'll save my cheese indulgence for the really good stuff, the stuff that isn't neon and melted.


5. Eat more beans
Listen to the recent Food for Thought podcast on beans (the episode from December 14, 2007). Beans are a staple in many culinary traditions, including the Puerto Rican one I come from. As a child, I wasn't a fan of beans. I would only eat pigeon peas, or gandules, which my grandmother would make for me. Now there isn't a bean I won't eat. I'm particularly fond of pink beans, black beans, chickpeas, and cannellini beans . Canned or fresh, I'm going to make an effort to eat beans everyday. There's really no reason not to since canned beans are readily available, priced right and just a can opener away. My lunch salad today was elevated with the addition of chickpeas with sauteed onions (recipe below). And I'm not hungry nearly three hours later, miracle of miracles.

6. Cook and more soups and chilis
I'll concentrate on making soups, chilis, rice and beans and other large servings of beans, grains, and veggies that can go for a few days. If it tastes good, I don't mind eating the same thing three days in a row but I'll keep on hand some avocado, nuts, different sauces, already cooked tofu, an egg, etc. to keep things interesting for lunch and dinner.

7. Make my own granola and trail mix bars
This might be one of those pipe dream resolutions. I may just continue to buy Clif Nectar bars. But considering bars are just some grains, nuts and dried fruit binded together with some sticky syrupy sugar, it would be much cheaper to make it. If I get around to it, I can follow this recipe from Mother Earth Living.


8. Sign up for community-supported agriculture
With Philly's own Greens Grow right in Brian's neighborhood, we have no excuse not to buy shares in a local farm and pick up weekly boxes of fresh produce. Here's more information on their CSA.

Quick Chicks with Onions (vegan)
1 tablespoon extra-virgin olive oil
¼ medium yellow onion, diced
1 can (15 ounces) organic chickpeas, drained and rinsed
sprinklings of the following spices to taste:
ground cumin
ground cayenne pepper
dried Italian seasoning
salt
freshly ground pepper

Heat olive oil in small saucepan over medium heat. Add onions and sauté until translucent and just slightly browned—about five minutes. Add chickpeas, cumin, cayenne pepper, Italian seasoning, salt, and pepper. Stir well, cook for another 5 minutes or so (until chickpeas start to pop open) and taste and adjust seasonings to your liking as you go along. I like a lot of cumin and a generous dose of cayenne for flavor, bite, and a nice orange tinge. Chill and serve over salad or eat immediately.

Not Dead. Just Frozen.

It's officially winter. Out here in my part of the Northeast of the US of A, central New Jersey, yesterday we had what the weatherpeople like to call a wintry mix. I call it a multitude of collisions waiting to happen. On the highway I steamroll down on sunny days, I went a mere 25 MPH. People who drive 18-wheelers and SUVs are, quite frankly, morons. As one radio listener noted on NJ's own semi-conservative radio station--that I listen to for weather, traffic, and to keep up with how the other half lives--"I don't know where these people get their tires but their not invincible. Just dumb." I concur, my brother. But it doesn't matter because they are usually the ones who end up jackknifed on an exit ramp or wrapped around a tree.

Anyways, the delight of my morning today wasn't my cup of lemon tea or my lovely commute through ice and traffic. It was the half-sandwich I ate and I can't get enough of it. It's been my obsession of the week. I go through these phases where everything I eat for a week or two is centered around one ingredient.

A few weeks ago it was ricotta cheese cooked a la Mollie Katzen's Sunlight Cafe--stir-frying it in some olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt, freshly ground pepper, and some dried Italian seasoning, like a creamier, more delicate scrambled egg.

This week it's been sun dried tomatoes packed in garlicky, herby, red-hued olive oil. Before my last cookbook writing class on Monday, I stopped into Whole Foods' Fresh and Wild and got the Grilled Salmon Omega Salad: grilled salmon, dried cranberries, walnuts, avocado, sun dried tomatoes, and balsamic vinaigerette over a bed of greens. Much more delicious (and cheaper!) than the so greasy they were slimy sugar snap peas and rubbery tofu I kept eating from the $8.99 a pound buffet before. That started my sun dried fixation.

I've been eating sun dried tomatoes at home mostly as a sandwich filling to tide me over before workouts or before bed when I'm feeling the stirs of hunger but have already had dinner. This morning, it was my pre-breakfast breakfast (I usually have either two breakfasts or two dinners with a few snacks throughout the day because I'm hungry pretty much every two hours. And this is one of reasons I have to workout). You should have it for breakfast, lunch, a snack, or light supper too. It's delicious anytime. The well-seasoned and pleasantly chewy sun dried tomatoes pack a surprisingly meaty flavor and texture that will please meateaters and veggies alike. The recipe below could be replicated on several slices of baguette or on one large focaccia loaf and serve as a very nice appetizer for a few folks. This is how I make it for me.

Sun Dried Tomato and Avocado Toast
Ingredients
2 slices of whole-grain bread
1 ounce (basically one chunk, about the size of two dominoes) of Monterey Jack cheese or 1 tablespoon of garlic herb Alouette spread, optional
1/4 to 1/2 of Haas avocado
3 slivers of sun-dried tomatoes packed in oil (you can use completely dry ones if you're watching your fat intake but I'm not going to lie and say it will taste as luscious)

1) Toast bread. If using Monterey Jack cheese, add to bread before toasting so it can melt. If using Alouette, add after bread has toasted. If omitting cheese, just toast the bread.
2) Add avocado and tomatoes to one slice of toast. Top with other slice and smoosh down to break up and spread the avocado. Eat.

Serves one, happily.

Trying to Eat Healthfully? Eat More Junk Food

Due to stress, sleep deprivation, and PMS, I have spent the last week or so eating a ton of junk. Yesterday, I left my wallet and my breakfast at home so I had to panhandle for change at work so I could get a noxious and oily (bad oily like gasoline, not good oily like when I drizzle walnut oil and honey on sprouted whole wheat toast) honey bun from the vending machine. For lunch, I had an egg and cheese on an English Muffin from Dunkin Donuts followed by a Rice Krispie treat from the Barnes and Noble cafe. For dinner, I killed half a bag of fried, salty platanos. Then I chased that down with a cup of vanilla and chocolate ice cream with a bag of 100-calorie Oreo Thins crumbled on top (did you know that Oreos are vegan? Or at least they are 99.9% vegan). Not going to win any gourmet health awards there.

The good thing about going on a junk food fast is that it makes your body crave the wholesome simplicity of a bed of fresh spinach drizzled with the tiniest hint of extra virgin olive oil. Or a crisp and tart pink lady apple. When all you want to eat is junk but feel like you should eat virtuously, I say pile on the french fries and then just wait. You'll want to eat produce again. Right now, I am so looking forward to the dinner I have planned for tonight: tofu stir-fry over a steaming pile of red quinoa alongside some kale with garlic and peppers. The following text and recipe is from the October 2005 "Inspired Vegetarian" column in Cooking Light.

Kale with Garlic and Peppers (vegan, which means it's good for
everyone!)

Although you can find kale in supermarkets year-round, this member of
the cabbage family is at its peak flavor in cool-weather months. Kale also
brings a good dose of protein and iron to this side dish, and the jalapeño
pepper adds a pleasant kick. You can substitute collard greens for kale, if you
prefer.

2 teaspoons olive oil object
2 cups sliced red bell pepper (about 2 medium)
1 tablespoon chopped seeded jalapeño pepper (about 1 small)
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
14 cups chopped kale, stems removed (about 1 pound)
1/2 cup organic vegetable broth (such as Swanson Certified
Organic)
1 garlic clove, minced
Lemon wedges (optional)

Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat. Add red bell pepper,
jalapeño, salt, and black pepper; sauté 3 minutes or until tender. Add chopped
kale and broth; cover. Reduce heat to medium-low; cook 10 minutes or until
tender, stirring once. Stir in garlic; increase heat to medium. Cook, uncovered,
for 2 minutes or until liquid evaporates. Serve with lemon wedges, if desired.

Yield: 4 servings (serving size: 1 cup kale mixture)

Nutritional Information: CALORIES 157(24% from fat); FAT 4.1g (sat
0.6g,mono 1.8g,poly 1.1g); PROTEIN 8.4g; CHOLESTEROL 0.0mg; CALCIUM 323mg;
SODIUM 321mg; FIBER 4.9g; IRON 4.3mg; CARBOHYDRATE 28.2g

Catskill Animal Sanctuary + Saugerties = 4ever

Brian and I had a wonderful time in Saugerties, NY. We came for the Catskill Animal Sanctuary, and our visit did not disappoint, but we also fell in love with Saugerties, a very charming, small town chock full of antique shops and adorable restaurants and storefronts (and not a little bit spooky to drive through on a very foggy night). We started our day by unwinding in our Hojo's hotel room before venturing into the downtown area in search of snacks to tide us over before our dinner reservations at New World Home Cooking. We weren't out and about for but an hour when a huge rainstorm hit. We ate the bananas and nut bars we picked up at Mother Earth Health Food Store under an awning and ran into a bookstore right before the skies opened up. The owner gave us shelter and, when he told us about all the places he traveled to as a food writer, we told him about the humble little operation you're visiting right now. We didn't get the friendly owner's name but Brian agreed with me when I said he looked like a Bartholomew. He just did.

We ran off to dinner only to find out that the thunderstorms had knocked out power at New World Home Cooking. Very hungry, we drove back downtown and settled on dinner at the surprisingly veggie-friendly, Pig Bar and Grill. Seeing a pig cut as a restaurant out is usually not a good sign but it actually worked out. Brian had a delicious coconut tofu sandwich and I burned my mouth on the blackened fish (the pros of pescetarianism continue to wane). But my mojito was good. We were going to go see Halloween or Hairspray at the old-time moviehouse, the Orpheum but I hate horror movies and neither one of us wanted to see Hairspray so we passed on both. We attempted a night drive to the Saugerties Lighthouse and turned around after the fog and dark winding roads has us feeling like we were in the middle of our own horror film. Like the elderly people we are quickly become, we went back to the hotel and nodded off while watching and making fun of the phenomenon that is High School Musical (but Disney wins because we actually voluntarily watched this swill, which I would have loved when I was nine).

The next day, we went to Miss Lucy's Kitchen for brunch. I was looking forward to drinking a mimosa when our waitress informed us they could not serve alcohol before noon. So I settled for the delicious challah french toast with strawberry compote while Brian dug into some tofu scramble with home fries and salad. We tried taking pictures but my camera was refusing to take pictures. Trust me. Our plates were very pretty and tasty. Miss Lucy's is not veggie-friendly at all for dinner, however, where bunny is heavily featured. Gross. But their brunch is nice and hanging aprons and country-ish air is appealing.

We window shopped a bit before heading to the farm sanctuary. I was so excited to be going. Just seeing the sign made me happy. We were greeted by one of the friendliest (read: doggiest) cats I've ever come across. She came over to us purring and cuddly. We made our way to the HUGE pigs sunning themselves in the mud. One pig put his snout through the gate and let me pet his big, wet nose. They didn't oink; they growled like my dog.

We wandered into the empty visitors' center, where there were vegan flyers, pamphlets, and recipe booklets galore. Another couple came a few minutes later before our tour guide, Betsy, finally came. She put on a short film about the sanctuary and its reasons for existence. She warned us about a portion of the film that showed factory farming footage and assured us it was short but urged us to watch. I never watched the last few minutes of Fast Food Nation, which is the scene that shows real slaughterhouse footage of cows being killed. I won't watch Earthlings. I can't even stand to watch a dog be sad in a fictional movie. But I tried to steel my courage to watch the sanctuary film in its entirety. Watching the pigs being thrown and jostled was heartwrenching and seeing the calves in their veal stalls was awful but what actually set me off was watching two chickens looking sad, sick, and scared holding onto one another while cramped in the cage. That's when I started crying. The camera zoomed in on their faces and there was no denying that not only were they terrified but they were trying to protect and comfort one another. When Betsy came to turn off the film, she saw me crying and acknowledged how awful it was.

After the film, the fun part began we went into the stall to meet all the animals. There was the blind horse, Bobo, who had furry prosthetic eyeballs and was kicking his stall for more oats (it was feeding time when we arrived). We met a mother pig and the cutest piglets but my camera was acting up when it came time to meet them.

Perhaps our most memorable host was Rambo, the ram who, when he first arrived, was so hateful towards humans that he threw three of the farm workers into his stall. A year later, he is not only recovered from having been abused, he is one of the most peaceful and gracious of all the animals we met. In fact, he was so peaceful, we were told he rarely needs to be in the stall and basically roams around, checking in on the other animals who may be more scared or shy. He alerts the staff when anyone is sick. He reminded me of my dog, Luckie, when he came towards me and nuzzled me with his head then gently kicked me when I stopped rubbing him.

After hanging out with the goats (who I can only describe as regal and proud), horses, and some pigs in the stalls, we ventured out to meet the ducks, the chickens and pigs bred to be so abnormally large that they have the same cardiovascular and respiratory problems that a morbidly obese human would have.

Then we were off to see the former dairy cows and cattle. The cows were so huge. It was impressive to be so close to just their enormous heads let alone the rest of their big bodies. They were so gentle and their tongues were sandpapery like a cat's when they licked me.

After that, we headed over to some more horses. We got their at an opportune time because one of the female horses unloaded an impressive stream of urine before flapping her vulva in front of all of us to see. Quite a show.

While walking with Betsy, I told her that I had given up eating land animals but was still eating fish, eggs, dairy, and especially that crack cocaine of dairy, cheese. She said she had a cheese issue herself and then told me how she doesn't eat any meat except for tuna a few times a year when her hunting husband brings some back for her. Huh? Brian asked if the sanctuary housed any sea creatures and she responded with, "No. Only farm animals." Well, fish are definitely animals and nowadays they are farmed ones too. Betsy was awesome as a guide and is doing great work but it was interesting to note how you can work so closely with animals and in a facility that actively promotes veganism and still have blinders on about certain animals (present blogger included).

We ended our last day in Saugerties by visiting Opus 40, a quarry museum where Brian was in his glory.

Then we finally had our New World Home Cooking dinner. The white bean dip and herbed bread they give every table is amazing. In fact, it was better than my dinner of rubbery and bland penne and calamari arrabiatta. Brian got the blue-corn crusted seitan with collard greens and yams. I had one too many apple martinis and we shared a slice of vegan and spelt chocolate cake with raspberry sauce. After being stuffed, we headed back onto the highway towards New Jersey and, though we never got lost once in Saugerties, we did in New Jersey . I blame it on the overabundance of food and relaxation. We didn't want to come back.

Random Fridays: "Summer's Gone, Summer's Over"*

* Sistah Vegan is a site (and an upcoming book) that I just stumbled upon yesterday. I'm interested to read more about veganism and "the intersection of race, class, religion, gender, sexual orientation, able-bodiedness."

* I Blame the Patriarchy is an astute and altogether too funny blog. Highlight has to be an old post that lambasts Oprah's magazine by calling it a "bright yellow box of Empowerment Bonbons...but with Crispy Cockroach Centers." My co-worker had to look over my cube to check on why I was laughing so hard.

* Summer is, calendar-wise, over in the US after this upcoming Labor Day weekend. I'll be in Philly this weekend with Brian, where we will mostly be eating and seeing friends and family. Here are some pictures from earlier in the summer that I never got around to posting because my computer goes nuts when I try to upload pictures. Happy End of Summer, y'all.

Me at my most pescetarian. Trenton Ave. Arts Festival, Philly, PA.

I'm not always so sweet to Brian, despite the supposed "lovefest." Bastille Day, Philly, PA.

Marie Antoinette didn't throw down cake or Philly's own Tastykakes at the peasants on Bastille Day. She and her minions threw Twinkies. And if there's anything worse than eating Twinkies, it's having your chest pelted with them 5 or 6 times in a row.

Brian made that. Yeah. I was impressed too. Friend's house, Philly, PA.

Central Park, NYC, waiting to see Neko Case.

After Neko, we headed over to Red Bamboo for a late-night fried vegan fest, which included fake fish sticks and tartar sauce and some scarily (and yummily) authentic-tasting fried fake chicken breast, which is in the sandwich below.

Random Fridays: Get Out Your Doc Martens and Start a Podcast

I realize that my recent posts have been essay-like mutterings on my simultaneous guilt over and desire for meat. I promise to offer more recipes and tips on assembling easy meals for multuple palates and principles very soon, as that was and is my primary purpose in launching Mutual Menu with Brian. I do think it is, however, pertinent to express my own ethical struggles with food choices since creating this blog was the biggest impetus for my considering vegetarianism. It was when I sat around thinking about how to talk about "humane" meat that I questioned whether any meat can be truly humane (my final vote: no..although, my deepest apologies, as always, to the fish I still eat). So, yes, my thinking and all the changes and questions that come along with it will be apart of this discussion. Since we'e having that BBQ on Saturday to honor my grandfather, it will provide me with the opportunity to share some real-life, from the trenches tips and tales on how people can actual make their menus inviting to all of their loved ones.

Until then, here are some random things I have been poking into and loving this week:

* 120 Minutes Aggregator contains mostly You Tube videos from bands I used to watch at midnight every Sunday night on MTV's 120 Minutes when I was 15 years old: Hole, Throwing Muses, Belly, Velocity Girl, Liz Phair, PJ Harvey, the Smiths, Morrissey, the Jesus and Mary Chain, Sonic Youth, Shonen Knife, Juliana Hatfield. I have spent quite a few hours with my headsets on this week, listening to the songs while the videos play, wondering where my back issues of Sassy and Doc Martens are (note: anyone interested in back issues of Sassy should get in touch. I have two copies of each issue from years of Sassy because, in addition to my own collection, I found a mint-condition batch ready to be recycled. I've wanted to get rid of the extras for years but am too lazy to eBay. Any takers?).

* Podcasts: I know I'm about a century late but just this week was when I discovered how much I love them. Favorites include Food for Thought, Vegan Freaks (they'd hate me as I'm "NOT VEGAN! and they're snotty but funny), The Dawn and Drew Show, which is too hilarious to listen to at work. I guffaw about every two minutes. Please share any podcasts you like. I want more.

* Wendy Williams: This is an oldie but goodie for me but I've got to share the love. She is the only thing that makes my evening commute somewhat bearable. She's all about the gossip and giving out pretty solid advice to some often very stupid people ("I"m just a woman from the suburbs with an opinion. I'm not an expert.") As Wendy herself would say, she is a total friend in my head. When I saw her at a book signing last year, she wore a tight leopard print dress and a diamond-encrusted Hello Kitty necklace. Uh, yeah. Love her.

* Dried mango strips. The perfect afternoon pick me up for when energy is failing and hunger is winning. And wow, they're vegan and sweeten.

Devising a Mutual Menu

In honor of what would have been my grandfather's 89th birthday this coming Thursday, my family and I are having a casual barbeque on Saturday. The last time we had a backyard cookout for my grampa was in 2005. I didn't know that that would be the last birthday party I would be able to throw for him, the last chance to make him a cake. On April 1 of this year, he died. I am incredibly grateful that I was able to be with him throughout his hospitalization with heart disease and during his actual very last breaths. I am very grateful that Brian and my closest friends were all there for me and my grandfather throughout those trials too. I seem to be more prone to crying now than in the first few weeks after his death. The fact that his birthday is three days away, that it will be the first time in my life I don't get to buy him a card and wish him a happy birthday hasn't entirely hit me. Still, it seems fitting to get together to eat and share time with my loved ones in his memory.

The greatest mark of my grandfather's illness to me wasn't so much his actual hospitalization or even the two known heart attacks he suffered. It was his drastic weight loss and muscle wasting. It was the fact that he stopped eating, stopped getting hungry, stopped being able to taste and enjoy food. That to me seemed the cruelest blow of all. I'd seen him in the hospital before and his heart failure and hypertension had become a part of him that had, for years, been so seemingly well-managed by medication that they became almost incidental. Surmountable, even. But not eating? He loved to eat. That was taken away from him.

As a former cook in the army, he also knew how to cook. As the years went on, his concoctions became questionable, and often unrecognizable as any familiar food item, but I remember his pizza, fried fish, coconut ice cubes. My grandmother, however, loomed larger in the shaping of my food history. She was one of Those grandmothers, the kind who baked delicious cakes without ever referring to a recipe. When I wanted a snack, she'd make me fried chicken. She got me to eat beans--a hated food as a child--with her arroz con gandules, which I nicknamed vitamin rice because the pigeon peas looked like little pills. But the remeberance of my grandmother is more like myth. Maybe she did use recipes and measuring cups but I just don't remember. My grandfather, though, was real. I watched him cook everyday for years (and then I watched him stop cooking). I watched him read the greasy Betty Crocker cookbook when he was bored and then, hours later, he would have made a pear upside down cake. My grandfather didn't care if he didn't have half the ingredients called for. He'd just make whatever. So pineapple turned to pear and sometimes he wouldn't even use flour. Not if he had Bisquick or corn meal instead.

Earlier this year, to watch him turn away from food when I had always watched him turn towards it--first by feeding me, then by feeding my grandmother when she stopped cooking a few years before she died, and then finally for our dog, who he always cooked for--was so frustrating and incomprehensible. I didn't understand. I just thought if we could make him eat, he'd come back home. He's so weak and skinny, he's not rebounding, that's what I heard. So, I'll just make him eat. I made him coconut rice pudding, bought him soup and cakes. All I had to do was bring food, make him eat it, and he would get better. But he never wanted to eat. The biggest conflicts in the hospital were about getting him to eat. Every day my mother, the nurses and doctors, and I would try, tell him why he needed to eat. He would just get so angry. I suppose the only thing worse than losing the will to eat is having everyone bug you about why you should eat. In fact, my last interaction with my grandfather before he really started dying was me finally getting him to drink some Gatorade and bickering over the jello cup he didn't want.

Despite all of that, it doesn't seem strange at all to eat in his honor. He spent most of his life doing it anyway. The one feature, no matter one's religion or background, that seems to be common after any death is the bringing of food from friends and neighbors. You eat after someone dies. Or else someone tries to get you to eat. I guess there are two ways to grieve: eat or don't eat. I eat. The first thing I wanted to read after my grandfather died was the introduction to the "Funeral" chapter in Nigella Lawson's Feast. And the first thing I wanted to make was the marble cake in that chapter. Baking tied and ties me to my grandparents. It may seem cruel, or at least like some kind of denial, to bake a cake and eat it after someone dies. Yet food is what keeps everyone going. How can you go on after someone you love has died is the question Lawson brings up in the chapter. But that's what death is. It's not just someone dying and leaving you. It's you having to keep going on without them.

Yesterday, Brian called me while I was at Wegman's, shopping for the week and picking up a few items for the barbeque. I told him about my friend's husband who only eats halal meat so I'll have to get fish for him (and me). And no pork in the arroz con gandules so Brian and the Guls, who are Muslim, and I can eat it. Let's try not to mix up the ribs with the veggie dogs when grilling. Oh, and do you want me to make grilled eggplant sandwiches with vegan red pepper aioli? You know, a break from Morningstar Farms? Brian laughed as I told him all of this, saying it really was a mutual menu and how our conversation should be my next post. When I started writing, I didn't anticipate getting into so much detail about my grandfather and death in general and how all of that is so tied to food (everything is tied to food for me). But I guess I just really needed to talk about all of that.

Resistance

Last Saturday, Brian and I were scurrying around to feed my dog, Luckie, before heading out to visit Brian's co-worker's home and then to the 30th birthday party of his dear, old friend. My dog hasn't eaten dog food in nearly a decade, after a case of retinal detachment caused Luckie to go blind out of nowhere for nearly a week. I had read about the horrible, disgusting crap (the flesh of diseased animals, plastic, uh, other dogs) that goes into pet food and the health-related conditions that go along with eating it. But it wasn't until my seemingly healthy 4 year old dog went BLIND that I finally decided to stop feeding him the stuff. Now he's 13 years old and, other than some arthritis on his right back leg, he still runs, jumps and loves, just with a bit of a limp. And while he used to leave his dry dog food untouched for days, he always licks his bowl of real food clean. Anyways, this meandering introduction leads to this: on Saturday, I had to buy the dog a chicken.

I bought him one of those readymade grocery store rotisserie chickens that I used to pick up for myself when I couldn't be bothered to cook after work. They are convenient and pretty tasty. Brian and I are hungry ourselves so we pick up Amy's Organic roasted veggie pockets for 2 for $4. But I buy the dog an $8 roasted chicken. Brian is floored.

While cutting up the dog's meat--with a knife and then shredding it with my hands and fingers--I tell Brian that it doesn't gross me out to handle meat but that I no longer have the urge to eat it. That wasn't entirely true. For about five seconds, I wanted to eat a little wing, something I used to snack on while cutting up the main pieces for my dinner. I just wanted a little bite. I didn't have one and the urge passed quickly but I had the thought: a life without ever eating roasted chicken again. Can I do it? Well, I do. For now.

I'm still in one day at a time mode. It's been three months since I've ingested chicken, beef, or pork. Perhaps this transition has been made easier by my "fish are vegetables" stance, but that too is starting to wane. Life without shrimp? Maybe.

I sometimes think, one day I'll eat "humanely" raised meat every once in a blue moon. It's not that bad. Or, when I finally get over to Spain, I have to eat meat. I want chorizo. Sometimes I think maybe I do need to eat meat. Not just want to but need to. Need the protein, after all. But I know I don't. I know I'm tired because I'm a sleep-deprived insomniac, not because I didn't eat a steak. I was an insomniac when I ate meat and I'll probably be one for all of my days. Besides, I get plenty of protein from beans, cashew butter, veggie burgers, quinoa and kamut pasta spirals, soy milk, cheese, cow's milk, eggs, and yes, fish. If anything I suffer from a vegetable deficiency. My health is not being compromised by an overabundance of broccoli.

I've been reading less vegetarian literature lately. In the first month of my dietary and belief transition, I ordered back issues of Veg News, read vegan cookbooks on my lunch break, read excerpts of Slaughterhouse, and I listened to the Compassionate Cooks' podcasts, Food for Thought. That last tool really cinched it for me. So much so that I stopped listening, that's how effective the podcasts are. I can read a vegetarian cookbook and still think about the eggs I'll use in a cake. But listening to Food for Thought makes me feel guilty for not being vegan. Because Colleen Patrick-Goudreau is right. Her discussions are imapssioned, thoughtful, well-researched, thorough, and incredibly persuasive. I currently have "The High Costs of Cheap Meat" on pause and will play it once this post goes up.

One bad, bad day last when I was just angry at the world, I really wanted a bacon double cheeseburger. I thought, fuck this, I'm eating one. I want to eat all the fat and grease there is, make myself feel as sick physically as I feel emotionally. I planned on picking one up for lunch. While opening my e-mail that morning, the Compassionate Cooks newsletter was in my inbox. The picture on the top of this post was in the newsletter. I just couldn't eat a burger. The thought of eating one just made me sick.

picture courtesy of the blog, Food For Thought

The Ambivalent (Sorta) Vegetarian

Kim of The Lazy Vegan posted about a great essay on July 10th's MSNBC Health, "Ambivalent Vegitarian faces meat of the matter," by Elizabeth DeVita-Raeburn. The author initially became a vegetarian as a weight loss strategy (as someone who lost over 40 pounds by eating lots of pork tenderloin, chicken breast, sirloin steak, and eggs, I'm astonished at how any vegetarian achieves and maintains a svelte figure. But I'm guessing that those are the ones who put the "veg" in vegetarian by actually eating a lot of vegetables). Upon resuming meat-eating years later, she suddenly finds herself feeling guilty about eating the flesh of animals:

Increasingly, when I looked at a piece of beef on my plate, I no longer
saw
the calories I’d have to jog off the next day. I saw something that looked
unnervingly like flesh — flesh not all that different from my own. This
tugged
my mind to uncomfortable comparisons. Skinned and butchered, how
different would I look on a plate? How different was this piece of meat from me?

When I ate meat, it wasn't unusual for me to pick up a nice steak and bottle of red wine whenever I was feeling sluggish and lifeless. I remember reading about French doctors prescribing this remedy to patients whenever they needed some pep in their step and that made sense to me. I'd just barely cook the steak, leaving it pretty bloody, pink and red within and charred without, thinking that the bloodier the steak, the more restorative it would be. I never winced. Never really thought about the fact that I was eating dead cow. On the rare occassions that preparing steak or removing the gizzards from a chicken I was about to roast prompted me to get a little, well, grossed-out, I'd quickly put it out of my mind. It's just food. I'm just feeding myself. Get over it. Or, don't get over it. Face what it is. Yes, prepping a dead, plucked, headless chicken for roasting can be a little unseemly. But it will taste so good. And I went on with it. I remember my grandmother butchering and scaling whole fish and thought, a real cook doesn't mind the blood and guts of it. My mother sucked the marrow out of bones before it became haute cuisine. I was used to thinking of eating animals as just something you do. Yes, how admirable to be a vegetarian but who could live like that? I never thought I could. Now I am not eating land animals and I am not buying cheese if it has rennet and I am thinking about when or if I'll eventually give up fish too, a food I didn't even really crave back when I was eating meat. I'm a freaking pescetarian. One of those dumbasses who classifies fish as vegetarian-friendly.

Today I'm feeling rather slow and my old steak and wine remedy as popped into mind. I'm quickly tiring of veggie burgers and salads for lunch. I am craving meat. Much as I abhor what we do to animals to eat their bodies and drink their milk, I still love the way all of that tastes--butter, a steak, fried chicken. I am most definitely on the fence. Disgusted by the fact that the flesh I want has been procured in such horrific ways and yet still able to say it tastes good. And beyond the flavor, I remember meat satisfying me, feeling like a complete meal in my stomach--roast chicken, potatoes or rice, some asparagus or snow peas tossed in olive oil, fresh garlic, salt, pepper, and a splash of soy sauce. That's a meal. Then again, it was one of my favorites--the roast chicken--that made me gag and hand over the meat to the dog when I connected what was on my plate to what happened on a farm in god knows where.

I could be romanticizing meat's powers to satisfy and rejuvenate, like an ex who looks better after a few months or years have passed. Truthfully, I've always had a problem with lunch. I've never been able to quite figure out what to pack for work that will keep me tied over for 6 hours. I pretty much get hungry every 2 to 3 hours, with or without meat. And that's all thanks to dieting, which has shrunk my stomach so that I get full very quickly but then hungry again just as soon. And the steak and wine routine? While tasty, the wine probably made me too sleepy to allow the steak to revitalize my energy levels, if it could even do that at all.

In many ways, my transition into vegetarianism isn't unlike dieting. Lifestyle change? Whatever. I'm concentrated on what I can't eat rather than what I can. Deprivation is a means to an ends and I've done it before. Like a diet, it hasn't been all pleasurable. I had the Cuban Platter at Caravan of Dreams this past weekend with Brian and Sky, and, yes, the grilled bananas were great, rice and beans passable for a non-Cuban joint, and the vegan sour cream-- though I couldn't mistake it for the real thing--it was nice. But those blocks of tofu standing in for what? Pork? Chicken? Nothing? It just didn't do it for me. Something was missing. I grabbed a few bites of Brian's seitan, which was pretty good, a much more accurate meat-substitute but not meat. Sometimes I do wonder if I can pull this off for a lifetime. Food is the one thing I wholeheartedly enjoy (would I need to diet if I didn't?) and yet, it's been the most fraught, complicated, and sometimes painful area of my life.

I remind myself that I don't need to give up meat forever. I won't know how I'll feel about this in 5, 10, 20 years. I mean, I should just wait and see how this Thanksgiving goes. Maybe I'll completely fall off the wagon today or November or 4 years from now, finally buying a pair of leather shoes again while I down a burger. Maybe I'll become a militant vegan, swearing off my beloeved cheese. I don't know yet. I don't feel like a "real" vegetarian (or even pescetarian), completely at peace with what I've decided to eat and not eat. And yet, I don't completely relate to being the meat-eater who doesn't at least pause to think about what passes their lips. I am in limbo, a dietary purgatory. It's not unlike being in a 12-step program. One day at a time. Today, I won't eat meat. We'll deal with the day I'm chasing down a bucket of fried chicken when it comes but for now, it hasn't.

The last paragraph of the essay has a very particular resonance for me:

Of course, I can continue to live a conflicted life, and no one will judge me
but me. But though I crave resolution, so far, I am unable (or unwilling) to
make the sacrifice. What does this say about me? Am I incapable of exercising empathy when it’s inconvenient? Which leaves me
to contemplate a particular irony: It is not other people but animals
who are forcing me to consider the depth and breadth of my humanity.
Every time I pick up a menu.

Picture Pages

Due to my computer freezing every time I tried to upload pictures, Mutual Menu has, until this point, been picture-less. Well, I figured out a way around the freezing and here are some pictures that link to some previous posts. New photos and posts to follow. But not today. Not on a day when all I can manage to eat for dinner are stale, packaged taco shells stuffed with cheese and guacamole followed by some soy cream and Nutella. Just the kind of meal hormones live for.


The so-called Better Burger.


After Better Burger, we wait in line to see Cassandra Wilson at Summerstage, Central Park, NYC.

The vegan apricot almond cupcakes that came out sucken with little holes in the center but they were still devoured. Recipe courtesy of Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World.

My Hawaiian French Toast at Kaya's Kitchen, which Brian reviewed.

Brian's Banana Pancakes at Kaya's Kitchen.

Gnocchi for All

Ever since I had the penne with shrimp, sundried tomatoes, and pine nuts at Aya's with Brian and his family a few weeks back, I've been having a moment with pine nuts. First, I made the pasta salad with ravioli and pine nuts from 101 Cookbooks. Then I made this tasty gnocchi with shrimp, asparagus, and pesto, adapted from the July 2007 issue of my trusty Cooking Light magazine. This is super fast and very easy to adapt for vegans, vegetarians, and omnivores without extra steps and excessive clean-up. This also makes the perfect summer al fresco meal.

The recipe calls for toasted pine nuts but I usually accidentally forget this step. If you toast, knock yourself out. If you don't, it is still just as delicious, although toasting does enhance the nuttiness and flavor. This dish is also even yummier when you have it with a glass of chenin blanc by Beringer's. A small note on my wine pairing technique: this bottle is $7.99 and tastes good. Therefore, I pair it with the dish.

Gnocchi with Shrimp and Asparagus Pesto (suitable for pescetarians and
omnivores; dietary adjustments follow)
2 quarts plus 1 tablespoon water, divided
1 (16 ounce) package of gnocchi (note: check label to make sure it is
vegetarian; some pacakges contain egg or mono- and diglycerides, which are
often animal-derived)
4 cups slices of asparagus (about 1 pound)
1 pound peeled and deveined large shrimp *
1 cup fresh basil leaves
2 tablespoons pine nuts, toasted or untoasted
2 tablespoons shredded parmesan cheese **
2 teaspoons fresh lemon juice (about 1 lemon)
2 teaspoons fresh or bottled minced garlic
4 teaspoons extravirgin olive oil
1/4 teaspoon salt (I used Kosher)

1. Bring 2 quarts water to boil in large pot. Add gnocchi; cook about 4
minutes (you will know they are done when they float to the top). Remove gnocchi
with slotted spoon or strainer and place in large bowl; leave this water in the
pan and don't turn off the heat. Place asparagus and shrimp in pot; let cook for
about 4 to 5 minutes or until shrimp is done (shrimp will quickly turn coral and
shrink in size--don't cook much past this point). Add asparagus and shrimp
to gnocchi in bowl.

2. Combine 1 tablespoon water, basil, and next four ingredients (through
garlic) in a food processor; process until smooth, scraping sides as needed to
combine everything. Add oil (drizzle through food chute with processor still on
if you can find the attachment--I did not and it still came out fine). Process
until well- blended. Add salt and basil mixture to gnocchi mixture. Toss until
well-coated. Serve immediately.

Serves 4. Serving Size: 2 cups
355 calories, 9.3 grams fat, 26.5 grams protein, 3 grams fiber

* To make lacto-vegetarian: Omit shrimp. Or, if making for a mixed crowd, you can boil the shrimp separately from the asparagus by placing it in the water after the gnocchi and asparagus has been drained. Place in a separate bowl to keep it away from the main meal and whoever wants shrimp can just spoon it onto their plate.

** To make vegan: Omit shrimp and omit cheese from pesto mixture. If making for a mixed crowd, you can sprinkle the cheese on the final dish of those who want it.

The Parchment Solution

If you're cooking a meal for vegetarians and omnis alike, sure, you can bust out 4 or 5 pots--one for the grains, one for the veggies, one for the meat, another for mixing everything together . Or you can just cook up a pot of quick-cooking grains, like quinoa or pasta, steam or quickly stir-fry some veggies in the same pot the grains were in. And while the grains and veggies are cooking, you can throw some marinade and seasonings on a piece or few of fish, wrap the mix in some parchment paper and pop it into an oven where it will steam and cook in 10 minutes or so. The French call it cooking en papillote. With this method, you've used just one pot, you can buy parchment paper made of recycled material so you don't feel bad about tossing it, and the meat and veggies never have to touch. Here are some more specific tips on utilizing the en papillote method:

• This method works best on tender foods that cook quickly: thin chicken breast instead of a chicken thigh and flaky salmon instead of meaty fish steaks. Additionally, be sure to combine foods that will cook at relatively the same rate. So don't add hunks of potatoes, which take a long time to cook, with a fish that only takes 10 minutes.
• Although you can substitute aluminum foil for the parchment paper, don't use wax paper. It tears easily and will eventually burn. Parchment paper is safe in oven temperatures of up to 450 degrees.
• Another word about aluminum foil: use parchment when steaming foods seasoned with highly acidic or salty rubs, like vinegar, since these seasonings can create an untasty chemical reaction with the aluminum.
• Add a bit of moisture, such as water, wine, or broth to create steam or add veggies with a high moisture content, such as spinach or tomatoes.

Tips adapted from April 2007 issue of Cooking Light.

The Interdietary Couple

What happens when a vegan and an omnivore fall in love? Well, first the vegan takes the omni out for her birthday and she eats a salad with bloody rags of medium-rare flank steak and he asks her, "Uh, is that how you wanted it cooked?" And she replies, with her mouth full, "Mhhhmmm." The omni has a Nigella Lawson fetish and especially enjoys baking. Around the time these two meet, which is Christmastime, the cookbook, Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World by Isa Chandra Moskowitz and Terry Romero very conveniently comes out. It takes the omni baker until Easter to actually bake something from this book (the lychee cupcakes with coconut glaze). They are a huge hit with the vegan and his mom, the omni and her mom. The omni eats ham on Easter. And steals some of the vegan's Morningstar Farms fake steak strips.

Throughout this time, the omni sometimes wonders if she could go veg. Maybe. She's always loved animals. She, like most, tries to put out of her mind that the rags and strips and legs on her plate were once alive and walking around (or most likely not walking, as she soon discovered). One day, she gets a magazine from the Humane Society and reads their article on factory farming while chowing down on a piece of lemon roast chicken (an all-time favorite) and suddenly cannot chew it. This is where having a dog comes in handy. The vegan and omni have an idea to start a blog about their experience on sharing the table together. But suddenly, the omni is sorta kinda a vegetarian (she's still eating shrimp and such).

This blog is about something that most couples and groups of people do together: eat. When we're around those who enjoy eating the same things we do, we don't have to spend as much time thinking about what we're eating (or not eating). Brian and I have spent time with our respective groups of friends and families and have been the odd one out at least once during a meal: Brian with my crew at a soul food restaurant in Manhattan eating a very bland (and expensive) plate of wilted greens and starch while the rest of us ate fried chicken, buttery cornbread, and ribs. Me with Brian's crew eating at the vegan Native Foods in Southern California, enjoying the un-chicken wings but being sorely disappointed when my entree comes and it's just a sour lemon mush of quinoa and flavorless steamed veggies. Brian tells me I should have picked the fun junk food instead of trying to eat healthy.

Now, more than ever before, we're all concerned in some way with what we do or do not eat. Food is a communal experience that has incredibly personal meaning. It is a matter of simple likes and dislikes that is backed up with our family histories and hundreds of years of culture and history guiding our desires. We don't want to shy away from the politics of food but our primary aim is to find a way to make sure everyone is, at least most of the time, fed to their satisfaction. Since Brian isn't much of a chef and I am obsessed with cookbooks, the Food Network, and baking at 2 am, I've discovered a whole new way of cooking as I've tried to find options we can both enjoy. While I've never had any troubles finding vegetarian recipes to cook for Brian and I, I could not find many resources that dealt with couples, families, and friends managing the day to day life of loving and living with people whose diets may not always blend. Brian's had years of people asking him what a vegan is and if he can eat fish so he can offer his perspective on how to make veggies feel welcomed at the table as well as how to answer the question of whether or not fish is a vegetable. I am just exploring vegetarianism for myself and often feel torn between my ethical concerns with eating animals and my tastebuds. Mostly, we'll just be eating and posting pics of what we eat and hope anyone who visits will share their ideas about eating.

Mostly, we'll just eat.